Our Original Sin: Modern Psycho-Spiritual Lessons from Adam and Eve on Shame, Gender, and Sex
By Yosi Amram PhD
“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” ~ Rumi
Growing up in a practicing Jewish family, I often felt overwhelmed observing the vast history of violence and trauma inflicted in the name of Judeo-Christian religions, particularly as it pertained to gender. I viewed Western religions as stringent and outdated and for spiritual nourishment, I turned to the East. Buddhist meditations in mindfulness, kundalini yoga, and non-dualistic teachings like Advaita Vedanta seemed much more appealing to me, their sex-positive philosophies in stark contrast to the repressed, heteronormative views of most religious people in the Western world.
Yet, as I became older and began to research gendered violence and its root causes, I felt an urge to return to the foundational stories of the Bible from my younger years. After all, these are the foundational myths of our western culture that billions of people — Muslims, Christians, and Jews — follow. I wondered if perhaps the message had become muddled after thousands of years of our societies’ rigid, stereotypical gender binaries. I wanted to make contact with the original ancient Hebrew and see for myself if any insights were hiding there, or perhaps anything we might have misunderstood that would result in the cycle of violence and shame we find ourselves in today. (For more on this, see my previous post, “No Shame in Shame: True Masculinity and the Power of Love.”)
In my studies, I not only identified multiple mistranslations, misconceptions, and misunderstandings of the text that our culture has internalized, but I also discovered a treasure trove of wisdom and psycho-spiritual insights that are as relevant today as ever. This essay will delve into the early passages in the Bible, parsing why sex and shame are so highly linked, how our perceived differences divide us, and the real meaning of Adam and Eve’s “original sin.”
1. THE FIRST HUMAN — WHO WERE “THEY”?
2. RATHER THAN CELEBRATING OUR DIFFERENCES, WE HIDE, JUDGE, OR ATTACK
3. OUR FALL FROM GRACE IS OUR FAILURE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
4. OUT OF THE GARDEN AND INTO THE JUNGLE: RIVALRY, VIOLENCE, AND SIN
5. GENDER DISHARMONY AND DIVISION IS AT THE ROOT OF ALL VIOLENCE
6. WE MUST COME TOGETHER AND COOPERATE: OUR LIBERATION REQUIRES IT
7. THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE: BE HERE, NOW, WITHOUT JUDGMENT
8. THE NUCLEAR POWER OF SEXUAL ENERGY
9. SEX IS SACRED: IT IS THE CARRIER OF OUR LIFE FORCE
10. SEX AND THE SNAKE: PORTALS FOR EGO DISSOLUTION AND HUMAN EVOLUTION
1. THE FIRST HUMAN — WHO WERE “THEY”?
You might think you know the story of Adam and Eve, the foundational myth of the West. Their tale — the first one about humans in the Bible — is in fact a narrative about the creation of shame, specifically as it connects to sex and gender. But, before we can parse the meaning of their transgression (the so-called “original sin”) that results in such shame, we must ask: who are these two characters? How did they come into being? Delving into the text, I discovered that our culture’s conception of where these two humans come from and who they are to each other is not reflected at all. Our common interpretation of their story is woefully misguided, sowing seeds of mistrust and leading us to the gender disharmony we witness today.
The most commonly known story of human creation is the one depicted in Genesis 2:22. At first glance, this narrative — the story of Eve being created from Adam’s rib — presents an innate imbalance between men and women. However, Genesis 2:22 is actually the second account of God creating human beings. Genesis 1:26, earlier on, tells us of God crafting the first being from soil and soul while declaring “Let us make ‘adam’ in our image after our likeness.” Some might take this to mean that the first human is the male individual “Adam” we know from later in Genesis. However, “adam” in Hebrew can both refer to the male name and also the word “human,” or “earthling.” And, looking closely at the text, we can discern that the Bible is in fact drawing a distinction between the later Adam and this first human. If this line in Genesis 1:26 were about Adam, it would have to include the preposition “et” before his name, the preposition Hebrew uses to indicate proper nouns. However, this passage does not use “et.” So, Adam isn’t the first human, “adam” is.
Genesis 1:27 immediately follows with further description saying, “So God created the human in His image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Firstly, note that this original human is referred to as a plural entity in this line (whereas the later Adam is singular). Secondly, while (perhaps due to the limitations of our binary gendered language) the text does reference God and the first human using masculine pronouns, it also clearly states that this first human is both male and female. (And, since this human is created in the image of God, this would imply that God possesses masculine and feminine features as well, as an added lesson in gender complexity.)
Reviewing this evidence, I posit that the narrative of Adam arriving to this world first, only for Eve to be created from him, is one that is not supported by the text. The first human is created in the “image and likeness” of God, a nonbinary, intersex being who (much like the people of today who identify as gender-fluid) uses the pronoun “they.” Or, perhaps the first human is two-spirited, an individual who contains both male and female within them, as depicted by various indigenous traditions. Genesis 1:26’s “them” is a being not unlike Genesis 1:26’s God: they are meant to be seen as pluralities containing and creating the duality of heaven and earth, masculine and feminine. This is clearly reinforced in Genesis 5:2 where it says once again, “male and female he created them, and blessed them, and called their name adam, in the day when they were created.”
When I realized that this is the most straightforward understanding of what the text actually says, I was shocked and concerned, as I had never heard an interpretation like it before. Was I making it up, or mistranslating something myself? Fortunately, I was encouraged by further research, as I discovered that, while it is not the most common view, there is support for it among the ancient rabbis and in the Zohar (a text of Jewish mysticism). And, as is stated in the Midrash (ancient rabbinic interpretation of and commentary on the Hebrew scriptures,) “Rabbi Jeremiah son of Elazar said: When the Holy One, blessed be He, created the first human, He created him a hermaphrodite, for it is said, “male and female He created them” (Bereshit Raba 8:1).
Furthermore, this human, though referred to as a name that would later be associated with maleness, is named after the feminine mother earth (adamah in Hebrew). The word for “earth” itself is feminine, according to Hebrew’s gendered nouns, and the iconography to depict earth across cultures is almost uniformly associated with the divine feminine.
So, how does the story of the first human in Genesis 1:27 reconcile with Genesis 2:22? The most direct and plausible interpretation is that these two accounts represent two different but sequential events. The first tells the creation of the primordial human, who is a non-binary “them.” And it is this “adam” who then is split into Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:22, forming two genders, male and female, simultaneously.
And, though some might interpret the text as saying that Eve is created from merely Adam’s rib, the Hebrew says she is actually created from Adam’s “tzela,” which can also mean “side” or “half,” as it’s used in the phrase, “the tzela of the Tabernacle” (Exodus 26:20). Again, the Midrash states, “Rabbi Samuel son of Nachman said: When the Holy One, blessed be He, created the first human, He created him ‘double-faced.’ Then He split him and made him of two backs, one for this one and one for that one” (Bereshit Raba 8:1).
Remarkable, that such a culturally ingrained, supposedly “sexist” story could offer a lesson in symmetry and equality between the sexes. Eve might not be an afterthought; she and Adam might have both been created at the same time from the first human earthling (adam). And, though it might not support some of our commonly held notions about how the genders should interact with one another, the message of such an interpretation is clear: we are parts of one whole.
2. RATHER THAN CELEBRATING OUR DIFFERENCES, WE HIDE, JUDGE, OR ATTACK
After presenting this origin story of men and women as equals, the text of Genesis goes on to offer an in-depth allegory on perceived differences, shame, and violence through Adam and Eve, now split into individuals and living happily in the Garden of Eden. This brings us to the “Original Sin.” Adam and Eve live in peace in the Garden until they disobey God, eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. An important detail in the story often glossed over is that God prohibiting the fruit appears in Genesis 2:17, before God recognizes that “it is not good for the human to be alone” in Genesis 2:18 and splits them into two genders. It is only after God divides the primordial human into Adam and Eve that they disobey God’s decree.
Upon eating the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve immediately become self-conscious. Realizing their nakedness, they shamefully cover their genitals and seek to hide from God. But why, possessing sudden awareness, do they conceal, of all things, their sexual organs? Why not their eyes that were tempted by the forbidden fruit? Or their mouths that ate and enjoyed its taste?
The answer is simple: the fruit gives Adam and Eve new perspectives on many aspects of life, but most notably their difference from one another. They can now compare themselves, aware of what the other has and, in turn, what they have not. Eve discovers she is without a penis, and Adam figures out he is lacking a womb — both realizations equally hard to swallow. (Though Freud popularized the notion of “penis envy,” much less talked about is “womb envy” which some men experience, including myself.) Adam and Eve, like so many of us, quickly forget that they come from the same one primordial, nonbinary human.
Indeed, Adam and Eve notice each other not with curiosity or appreciation of the glorious variety of creation, but with envy and shame. Instead of celebrating their uniqueness, they immediately jump to making destructive comparisons. This is commonplace: we humans often ignore our own gifts to focus on what we don’t have, fearing exclusion from our circle of belonging. We hide our unique authentic selves to match some apparent standard of humanhood we’ve idealized. It doesn’t occur to us that this standard, which we’ve all dreamt up, might not reflect reality. All we internalize is that we need to be like others to belong.
Furthermore, when there’s an “other” we can’t understand, we don’t just become distraught, we may even seek to denigrate them to make ourselves feel better. Without empathy, there is only rivalry. And instead of marveling at the perceived difference or allowing ourselves to feel discomfort over what we lack, we seek to dominate, judge, possess, or attack. In the words of the human rights activist, Audre Lorde, “It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” Our cultural conditioning teaches us to forget that we all come from “adam,” promoting competition and hierarchies between the genders. Most people stubbornly cling to the idea that Adam is the first human, and that Eve is simply created from his rib. With this foundational misunderstanding grounding our creation story (the narrative most deeply ingrained in the collective psyche in the West), it is no surprise that human history is so tarnished by strife and violence between the genders.
But, the Bible is there to highlight the opposite message: that we must embrace and overcome our differences. One of the most frequently referenced lines from the Hebrew Bible (the Torah) is “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” (Leviticus 19:9). But, the Torah also commands us to “love the stranger as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt” (Leviticus 19:33–44). In fact, the injunction to love the “stranger” appears no less than thirty-six times in the Torah, while the command to love your neighbor only features a handful of times. Despite all of the chaos and the warfare of the Torah, it still places more emphasis on welcoming the stranger — someone unfamiliar, who might even represent a potential threat — than it does on the person you know. Perhaps this is because it is exactly when we are unfamiliar to those around us — strangers in a strange land — that we are in the most need of acceptance, love, and support. In offering these to the stranger, we enlarge both our heart and our own sense of self.
3. OUR FALL FROM GRACE IS OUR FAILURE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
It is not just strife between the sexes that can be traced back to the Garden of Eden, but also strife within the self. Prior to disobeying God, Adam and Eve live in a natural state of purity and innocence, in harmony with each other and all of reality. Not only do they have no notions of right or wrong, but they also don’t even possess the self-consciousness to see themselves as individuals, disconnected from the rest of existence. After eating the forbidden fruit, however, they view themselves as separate from nature and from God, the source and ground of all Being.
Thus is born our self-conscious separate sense of self, the ego, which identifies us as bodies, simple objects distinct and detached from the rest of existence. Aware that the body must eventually die, this egoic self feels fragile. And as this ego finds itself in our world, the terrifying jungle outside the Garden, it seeks to sustain its existence and hide from truth. This is the genesis of our human suffering: seeing reality from the point of view of a separate egoic self. It is our ego that expels us out of each of our spiritual Gardens.
The Bible says that Adam and Eve, after eating from the tree, suddenly sense the presence of “Truth” and they seek to hide from it. In this case, “Truth” is referring to their disobedience (though it is also no coincidence that it is one of God’s many names in Judaism, Islam, and other traditions). And, as is often the case, running from the truth doesn’t work. The truth is always there, waiting for us, even if only in our unconscious.
Indeed, when God confronts them, instead of taking responsibility, they “pass the buck.” The man blames the woman, saying “She tempted me” — unfortunately, a line that men have all too often recited following their sexual transgressions. In turn, the woman blames the snake for tricking her. Interestingly, Eve does not claim she wasn’t aware that the fruit was banned, even though this command was only voiced to the primordial human before they were split in two. This further supports the idea that the character of the primordial human is both male and female as equal parts rather than Adam with an extra rib. In that case, Eve, as a being who emerges from just one rib, would not have heard God’s decree.
Many biblical scholars have commented that if Adam and Eve had simply taken responsibility for their disobedience and repented, the merciful God would have forgiven them. In the Jewish tradition in which I grew up, God is said to always forgive our transgressions, provided we repent. (Though when we cause harm to other humans, we can only be absolved by God after making amends with those we’ve hurt.)
It is because they try to avoid responsibility for their transgressions that Adam and Eve are cast out of the Garden of Eden. Life becomes a lesson in learning to take responsibility as God tells them they must now provide for themselves, “by the sweat of your brow you will eat your bread until you return to the ground — because out of it you were taken” (Genesis 3:19). Just as it is for Adam and Eve, it is not our mistakes that are the cause of our ongoing suffering, but rather our failures to take responsibility and learn from them. When we allow our egos to take over, we fail to recognize we are responsible (as it might be phrased, “response-able”), and we become victims to reality, to our history, and to our past conditioning. Hence in Genesis 12:1, God instructs Abraham to “lech lecha” which may be and has been translated as “go to and/or for yourself” and “from thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto the land that I will show you.” This can be interpreted to mean that we must leave our past selves — the identities that are so conditioned by how we were raised — behind and journey to an unknown place that will be revealed in time. Only then can we realize the freedom of our true selves and divine nature. For God is free, and in the image of God we are made.
4. OUT OF THE GARDEN AND INTO THE JUNGLE: RIVALRY, VIOLENCE, AND SIN
After the expulsion from the Garden, we can see the human cycle of competition, violence, and shame beginning to form. Themes of jealousy leading to violence, especially amongst men, continue to play out through the book of Genesis. It is such jealousy that turns Cain against Abel, leading to the first-ever murder. It should be noted here that despite the common conception of Adam and Eve’s eating the forbidden fruit as the “original sin,” the Hebrew word for “sin,” which literally means to “miss the mark,” doesn’t appear until it’s used in connection with the violence between Cain and Abel.
From Isaac and Ishmael, to Jacob and Esau, to Joseph and his brothers, sibling rivalry is the root of most of the conflict in Genesis. Women are not immune to this competitiveness either, as we discover with Abraham’s two wives, Sarah and Hagar, and the two sisters, Rebecca and Leah. And, of course, the most violent stories in Genesis are also associated with sex. When King Abimelech takes an interest in Abraham’s wife, Sarah, the couple must pretend to be brother and sister to save Abraham’s life. Genesis 30 describes how after Dinah is abducted and raped by Shechem, her brothers murder all of the men in Shechem’s city to retrieve her. And, in Genesis 38, Tamar dresses as a prostitute to seduce Judah, tricking him into conceiving a child with her and securing her place in his family.
This may seem to paint a bleak picture, but it is worth noting that Judah is also the first man in the Bible to confess his mistakes and repent for his transgressions. His name, “Yehudah” in Hebrew, shares the Hebrew root of the words for “confession,” (vidui) “gratitude,” (hodeh) and “oneness” (yehad). It is in his honor that Judaism and the Jewish people are named “Yehudim.”
5. GENDER DISHARMONY AND DIVISION IS AT THE ROOT OF ALL VIOLENCE
So, how are Adam and Eve’s realization of their differences, internalized shame, sudden conceptions of themselves as separate, and the subsequent violence in Genesis linked? On the sixth day of creation, right after the first human is brought to life, it says in Genesis 1:31, “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” Each previous day of creation is noted as only “good,” but after the emergence of the first human, a primordial “them” containing both the masculine and the feminine balanced and integrated in one human being, God notes it all as “very good.”
Our troubles seem to stem from the moment the masculine and the feminine are split, the creation of a man — Adam — and a woman — Eve. As discussed in my preceding essay, “No Shame in Shame: True Masculinity and the Power of Love,” our individual health requires the development, balance, and integration of feminine and masculine within us (our yin and yang). This harmony would bring us back to the state of “very good.” We have seen that most if not all of the violence men have inflicted can be traced back to their feelings of isolation and alienation, for indeed “it is not good for the human to be alone.” Violent men are not only alienated from others but also from their whole selves. And many men have detached themselves from their feminine qualities following the tragically mistaken belief that “manhood” and masculinity must mean independence. Disconnected from their feminine, much of men’s violence happens in the realm of sexuality — as if they perceive that to be their only way to connect with the feminine. Then, their shame locks them into the cycle of disconnection and suffering that they have created to hide from “Truth.”
Taking this idea a step further, several social and anthropological theorists have postulated that all human violence stems from the lack of balance between the feminine and masculine in our culture, the so-called “war of the sexes.”¹ Research has found that rigid gender roles are not biologically innate in all human societies, but instead develop through social learning and conditioning, and that the strictness of these roles is correlated with domestic and communal violence.² Lastly, research has substantiated the theory that having gender harmony and equality on a domestic level is associated with demilitarization, resulting in a pacifying effect on a nation’s behavior on the international level.³ The Jewish tradition of Kabbalah as articulated in the Zohar (the preeminent text for Jewish mysticism) teaches us that this is in fact the key to long-lasting peace.⁴ If we can just reunite the masculine and feminine at the cosmic as well as the human level, break free of our gender stereotypes, and heal our gender discontent through curiosity, empathy, and mutual respect and understanding, we can have true prosperity and happiness in our homes, our communities, and our world.⁵
6. WE MUST COME TOGETHER AND COOPERATE: OUR LIBERATION REQUIRES IT
Genesis would seem to agree with this message of cooperation as well, as it offers some hope for humanity towards the end of its text, when Joseph and his brothers reconcile through the power of forgiveness. An even better example follows with the story of Moses, Aaron, and their sister Miriam. It is Miriam who saves Moses’ life along with Pharaoh’s daughter, an Egyptian woman and therefore a rival from the “enemy” tribe. Later, Moses, Aaron, and Miriam without animosity or competition collaborate, jointly leading the Israelites out of their oppression into freedom. The story suggests that men and women within and across tribes can and must cooperate in our journey into liberation.
This isn’t to say that this journey towards liberation out of our restrictive gender identities is an easy one. The Israelites of the Bible wander in the desert for over forty years. And despite all the miracles revealed to them, they still find the journey arduous, repeatedly asking to return to Egypt, to the familiar yoke of slavery. Liberating ourselves from the rule of the ego, the root cause of our violence and suffering, requires steadfast commitment and effort, especially in the realm of sexuality.
Even the strongest and wisest of us have succumbed to transgressions of sexual nature. To offer two examples, King David and King Solomon are known as two of Israel’s greatest leaders. King David, the author of Psalms, is known to be among the most exalted writers of devotional spiritual poetry. King Solomon, described in the Hebrew Bible to be the “wisest of men,” penned the Song of Songs, a highly acclaimed erotic and allegorical love poem to The Beloved, God. Still, the Bible tells of how both men reveal their darkness when it comes to sex and exerting power over women. One of the problematic stories when discussing King David’s legacy is that of his relationship with Batsheva, a married woman he desires. David sends Batsheva’s husband to die on the front lines of the war so that he can have Batsheva as his own, taking advantage of his position of power to serve his sexual interests.
Today in our modern times, it is more common than not to find spiritual teachers, even self-proclaimed “enlightened” ones, who have abused their positions of power over women for their own sexual gratification. And many priests, who have vowed themselves to celibacy, have abused innocent boys. It can feel disheartening when those we turn to for spiritual guidance reveal themselves as so selfish. Yet, there is one moment within the story of Batsheva that might serve as a positive example: David, when confronted, immediately steps out of hiding, faces the truth, and repents. It is then foretold in the text that the lineage of David and Batsheva will one day create the Messiah. It might be unsurprising that the Messiah’s lineage is said to be traced back to the child conceived by Tamar and Judah as well, another standout tale of repentance. This is true according to both Jewish and Christian sources, as Matthew 1:1–17 attests that these two familial lines bring Jesus Christ into the world.
7. THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE: BE HERE, NOW, WITHOUT JUDGMENT
The message rings loud and clear: our redemption is dependent on our becoming accountable for our mistakes, correcting our ways, and learning to cooperate with those we see as different from us. The end of our suffering relies on us learning to face our weaknesses and face the truth. As Jesus says in John 8:32, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” (Here, Jesus could be referencing our internal truth, “Truth,” one of God’s names, or both.)
So, how do we come to know the “truth”? The first question posed by God to Adam and Eve while they are in hiding after eating the forbidden fruit is “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9). Why would an omniscient God have to ask this question? God isn’t actually looking for the answer, but instead hoping to offer Adam and Eve one last chance at self-reflection. The question, “Where am I?” and its corollary, “What’s here within and around me?” are important lines of inquiry that can bring us back into contact with truth, or, at a minimum, the truth of the moment. When we are ruminating about the past or worrying about the future, we are not present in our lives. The aftertaste of the forbidden fruit can overwhelm us, urging us to judge ourselves and each other, distancing ourselves from Truth. “Where are you?” is a lesson in mindfulness, a reminder to get in touch with what you know to be true about everything within and around you, right now.
Even when we are ruminating about the past or planning the future, we are still doing so in the present moment — this is the truth, though we may not be aware of it. And the good news is that, at any moment, we can notice that this is happening, awaken to the truth, and without any further judgment come back to the ever-present Presence of Truth. Back in touch with Truth, we can without projections see others and Reality as they are in the naked immediacy of the moment. And when we do, without even realizing it, our egos are out of the way, and we are back at the Garden with God. Enlightenment is available in every moment when we “re-member” ourselves in this regard. Indeed, this is what the Ram Dass classic Be Here Now instructs us to do. It’s also what the Buddhist mindfulness and other Eastern meditative traditions teach as the pathway to enlightenment. By focusing on the breath or some other object of meditation, we may enter a state of Samadhi — absorbed into our object of concentration — where our ego is dissolved and we are one with Reality, one with Truth, for in fact there is nothing else. This is clearly stated in Deuteronomy 4:39, “Know this day and take it to heart that the Lord is God: in the heavens above and on the earth below — there is nothing else.”
Furthermore, according to the Jewish tradition, when we can see the truth of the ways we’ve missed the mark, repent (“teshuva” in Hebrew, meaning “return”), and resolve to do better in the future, our “sins” can even become merit. As the Talmud states, “In the place where repentant sinners stand even the completely righteous cannot stand.” And, according to the Zohar, cleaning up our act not only redeems us individually, but has cosmic consequences for the “zivug,” the great mating of the divine feminine with the divine masculine, bringing balance and the nurturing presence of the divine feminine, called “schechinah,” to our world.⁴ It also should be noted that the word “zivug” shares a root with “zygote” from the Greek “zogen,” which means mating, reunion, or communion. According to these mystics, our good actions and our repentance for our bad actions echo throughout our world, bettering it for all.
8. THE NUCLEAR POWER OF SEXUAL ENERGY
This brings us back to analyzing sex in particular as a prominent source of weakness and shame. Like the nuclear energy of the sun, sex drives can be powerful and destructive, easily overwhelming our better judgment. It’s not difficult to demonize the drive itself as the cause of our ruin. Perhaps that’s why some spiritual paths require a vow of celibacy. While it’s possible for celibacy practices to transmute the energy of our libido and eros from carnal acts into our spiritual hunger, often, they are simply strategies of suppression. But sexual energy is inextricably linked to life itself. As with the sun’s nuclear energy enabling life on earth, sex is the force behind life. It draws us toward the most intimate act of communion. And with our reverence to the source and sanctity of life, sex becomes sacred.
The more we demonize or attempt to block our sexual drive, the more distorted it becomes. The more we seek to hide from our truth, the more we become trapped by it. Even if celibacy might work for some, most of us do want to pass on the gift of life, procreate, celebrate, and enjoy the bodies we are given. We can’t run from our sexuality; we must embark on a journey of transforming ourselves and our relationships to sex.
9. SEX IS SACRED: IT IS THE CARRIER OF OUR LIFE FORCE
Fortunately, the rewards are great. We can liberate our sexuality from the shadow of shame and into a joyful celebration of it as the carrier of our life force. This awakening is a spiritual one, in every sense. When I describe sexuality as the carrier of our life force, I mean that it is what brings us to life. And spirituality, from the Latin spiritus, means “the animating breath of life.” In its highest form, sexuality springs forth from our spirit, as the very essence of our force of life. It is an ecstatic celebration of life that can connect us to its source.
After eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, we were expelled from Eden and forced to wander the world in our egoic shells. These shells, which can serve to protect our vulnerability, separate and isolate us as well. Dissolving our egos through sex, even momentarily through a mind-blowing and ego-dissolving orgasm, can serve as our gateway back to the Garden.
In doing so, we can also break the cycle of violence. By embracing sexuality, we open ourselves to its sacred dimension, a powerful expression of love and our desire for ecstatic union with another human being and ultimately with Being itself. The division between the masculine and the feminine, the separation between genders, and the creation of the separate ego — all of it can be transcended in one moment of utter wholeness. And, of course, this reunion of the masculine and feminine and the dissolution of the ego at the moment of orgasm can occur for those who are gay, lesbian, or heterosexual, or any other sexual orientation.
When we realize this sacred and spiritual dimension of our sexuality, we can begin to free ourselves from our shame around it. We can start to understand and experience “sex” as a “Sacred Energy EXchange.” Such spiritual awakening can happen spontaneously to unsuspecting and unpracticed individuals during lovemaking.⁶ Indeed, research by ten authors has found empirical evidence that life-changing spiritual experiences can be triggered by sexual activity.⁷ It is such an awakening, a lifting of the veils, and an uplifting of our spirit that explodes our egoic shell and brings us into union with our beloved and with The Beloved, as the Old Testament says in Job 19:16, “And through my flesh I shall know God.”
10. SEX AND THE SNAKE: PORTALS FOR EGO DISSOLUTION AND HUMAN EVOLUTION
In studying these dissolutions of the ego, I discovered that the tantric and kundalini yoga traditions of the East imagine spiritual energy as residing at the base of the spine, coiled like a snake. In the Vajrayana path of Tibetan Buddhism, Dakinis (female helpers) and Dakas (male helpers) engage in sex to support the awakening of this kundalini energy in their partner. When they have an orgasm during sex, they visualize that this energy shoots up their spinal column into the sky, where their individual energy unites with the boundless primordial light of consciousness, thus attaining enlightenment through sex.
This led me to wonder, might this snake have anything in common with Adam and Eve’s snake? (Or, to reference a multitude of other cultures, the ouroboros, the snake biting its own tail in a circular symbol of wholeness and fertility?) Eve might have said that the snake “tempted” her, but, more accurately according to the text, the snake actually recited the truth for her, saying, “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” The snake, in both traditions, is the activating force on our path to enlightenment.
Adam and Eve’s snake is the very creature who sets us off on our journey, our quest to return to the Garden. Because of the division between the masculine and feminine, our relationships bear conflicts and the pain of separation. But, they can also bring greater complexity and evolutionary diversity of sexual reproduction, as well as the associated ecstatic celebration of reunion.⁸ And yes, because of Adam and Eve’s transgressions, we have Cain’s sin, but we also have Judah’s and King David’s repentance. We can chart a course towards enlightenment, as enlightenment means nothing if we are unwittingly born enlightened. Perhaps that’s why the Bible doesn’t use the word “sin” in connection with the forbidden fruit. Because the “original sin” was not a sin, it was the inevitable expulsion from the Garden: a state of unearned and unaware bliss (similar to how an infant would experience the womb) that we must leave in order to undertake our heroic journey, the necessary setback humankind must overcome to earn our growth and spiritual maturity.
Out of the state of purity, innocence, and oneness within the garden, we have been set upon on this sacred (if at times terrifying) earthly hero’s journey. But, upon our return home, we are no longer naïve infants floating in blissful oneness in the womb — rather our eyes are opened, discerning good from evil, and we possess self-knowledge. We reach for reunion with our human beloved, and the Beloved. We reach for enlightenment with full awareness of what it means.
In Gematria (mystical Jewish/Hebrew numerology in which each letter — Aleph, Bet, etc. — and therefore each Hebrew word has a number associated with it), words of the same value can reveal hidden connections in meaning. To offer one more mind-blowing discovery I found in my return to the text, there is a connection between the Hebrew word for “snake” (nachash), and the word for “Messiah” (Moshiach). Both equal 358.
Is this a coincidence? Might it be that the whole situation with the snake in the Garden of Eden was a setup? I wonder why God would place the Tree of Knowledge in the middle of the garden, and why the snake might be allowed to live there as well. If God didn’t want humans to eat from the tree, surely God could have prevented us from doing so. But, as we are made in God’s image, we too are free, like God, with the ability to choose between good and evil, between accepting truth and burying our heads in the sand to avoid it. God does not want preprogrammed loyal robots or naive followers, which would have rendered our lives meaningless. It could be possible that God anticipated us humans eating from the tree, being expelled from the garden, and embarking on a hero’s journey to battle our demons — our ego — whereby we must achieve growth by choosing and loving the truth above all else. In fact, Genesis 2:17 recounts that, when forbidding Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, God declares, “For when you will eat from the fruit you will die.” Intriguing, that God says “when,” and not “if.”
As it is said in Isaiah 45:7, “I form the light, and create darkness; I make peace, and create evil, I the Lord do all these things.” Though some English translations use “calamity” instead of “evil” in this phrase, the original Hebrew text uses “raa,” which is the same word as used in Genesis to refer to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Thus, we understand that God is the source of all, even the demons which are there by design. They are the dragons we must slay on our hero’s journey back home: to our true nature in the garden.
11. RETURNING TO THE GARDEN, TOGETHER
Let us travel through the dark terrain of shame, face our demons, clean our act, drop the judgments we hold of those who are different from us, and heal the wounds around our sexuality. Let us honor all genders. Let us ignite, enliven, and set free the sacred spark of our life force: our spirit. Our spirits alight, we can celebrate our differences — recognizing we all are, regardless of our gender or sexual orientations, expressions of the nearly infinite creativity of this life force. Thus, they who might appear as the “other” share our nature and our source. Let us get to know the seeming “other,” for to know is to love. As it is said, “O humankind, we created you differently from a male and female…so that you may know one another” (Qur’an 49:13).
This is our potential: to align our sexuality and our spirituality through the energy and act of sacred love. Inspired by love, we can infuse our sexuality with the power of our spirit, whereby we shall be liberated, our boundaries will dissolve, and “the two shall become one flesh” (Mark 10:8).
And, perhaps, in bringing our highest intention to the act of lovemaking, we may realize our oneness with the One, as it is said “For where two…are gathered together in my name, there I am in their midst” (Matthew 18:20).
Click here for the next chapter, “‘In Their Image’ We Were Made: The Gender of Our True Nature.”
For more on shame and masculinity click here, and to learn about the upcoming free online summit on healing ourselves through conversations about gender, click here.
References:
(1) The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future by Riane Eisler (2011). San Francisco, CA: HarperSanFrancisco
(2) Sexual Permissiveness, Sex-Role Rigidity, and Violence across Cultures by Shirley McConahay and John McConahay (1977). Journal of Social Issues, 33(2), 134–143.
(3) Gendered Conflict by Mary Caprioli (2000). Journal of Peace Research, 37(1), 51–68.
(4) The Zivug: The Secret of the Zivug According to the Zohar by Rabbi Chaim Siegel (2015). Targum Publishers, Jerusalem, Israel
(5) Sex and World Peace by Hudson, V., Ballif-Spanvill, B., & Caprioli, M, et. Al (2014). New York, NY: Columbia University Press.
(6) Transcendent Sex: When Love Making Opens the Veil by Jenny Wade (2004). New York, NY: Paraview.
(7) The Varieties of Spiritual States Triggered by Sex: A Systematic Review of the Empirical Literature by Jenny Wade (in Press). International Journal of Transpersonal Studies.
(8) Sexual Paradox: Complementarity, Reproductive Conflict and Human Emergence by Chris King and Christine Fielder (2006). Research Triangle, NC: Lulu.com.
