Questions On Public Speaking — Part 5 ‘Introverts and Events’

J
J
Sep 6, 2018 · 4 min read

The next three questions in the category introversion/extroversion in the series of 20 questions asked by Radoslava Leseva for her study aimed to help make conferences inclusive are answered in this post titled ‘Questions On Public Speaking’ subtitled ‘Introverts and Events’. Interview date — Feb 16, 2018.

Introversion/extroversion

What is the best and worst about being an introvert speaker at conferences? I.e. the things that get in the way of getting/delivering the most value. Or, on the contrary: what are the things that help you do things that wouldn’t be available to an extrovert?
Being loud is still considered the best way to convey a point especially in large organizations where juniors are at the mercy of seniors. Also, the weak voice is silenced by the loud.

Introverts needn’t change in this case to be louder but only be(come) assertive to share their ideas and continue to be introverts. Great work is done in peace and when we are comfortable with ourselves. If we lose confidence in our voice and ourselves then it will be an added advantage to the loud and the boisterous. Introverts need to continue to work despite this and diligently. Not or never speaking up is the real problem.

We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must — at that moment — become the center of the universe.

Elie Wiesel, The Night Trilogy: Night, Dawn, the Accident

Mentoring helps.

My mentors who are themselves introverts educate me in this regard and when asked for guidance. I will not let myself fall or fail because I am not an extrovert. Yes, I feel out of place, excluded, but I feel included by myself when I choose to not be around the loud who are loud for the sake of being loud. By choice, I prefer silence. In all honesty, it is in the quietness that I can do my work. I can achieve more by being quiet and honest with my work.

The extroverts are people who know what they are capable of and are confident when they know they deserve it and they too feel fear or nervousness at some point. The introverts wait for the opportunity to knock on their doors and then accept or reject. Extroverts set standards by asking for the opportunity rather than wait for it. Both attributes are helpful, the introverts learn from the extroverts to ask and receive and not wait for it to miraculously appear at their doorstep.

Having everyone included at conferences helps. We get to learn from the different perspectives that they bring. Plus the selection process requires to be fair, blind mode preferably. Irrespective of us being introvert/ambivert/extrovert we get to apply and speak at conferences which in itself is a fair opportunity for all.

I recently learned that when the situation demands, a human can be an introvert/ambivert/extrovert. We must stop categorizing ourselves as “I am this or that type”. Instead learn that “I am this, in this situation and that in another situation”. If we observe we will learn that this is true too.

What works best for you as an introvert at conferences? I.e. specific things that conference organizers do or could do that:

  • Respect your need for space/quiet
  • Accommodate your personal style of meeting and connecting with people
  • Make things easier in general

In my experience, I have not noticed a difference yet in the way of treatment based on introvert or extrovert behavior. At conferences especially I would find myself attracted to another introvert and we would pair up and find comfort in each other's company, which if or when noticed by the other extroverts may try and join in. But the problem for introverts is that the extroverts are already in their group/zone and would rarely join an introverts group. This is kinda upsetting at times, especially for someone who has flown across continents to be a part of the conferring experience holistically. I have made efforts to burst the bubble that I am in and to be a part of the extroverts group. But in no time I have realized that I do not belong and I resort to other introverts or rather be by myself.

Many conferences such as Techwell and European Testing Conferences are finding ways for conference-goers to socialize with ‘speed meeting’ or by having one on one talks with the speakers in dedicated time. This is a welcome change for both introverts and extroverts.

What personal ‘tricks of the trade’ do you use to make your life easier at conferences?

I am yet to learn the tricks of this trade. As an innate introvert, I would still lookout for people to approach me rather than make the first move. But when I am in a group(of size two — twenty) activity and have gone through an ice-breaking session, I have noticed that it becomes easier for me to talk and listen to the others. I would be helping myself by staying away from the extreme extroverts being a phono-phobic. I would rather pass on a post-conference meetup invite and stay within the confines of my room.

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