On FOMO

The “migration” of wildebeest in Africa is a great example of “fear of missing out” or FOMO. If one of them makes the plunge, the rest of the herd ( 1000s of them) follows without asking the basic question “WHY”.

Recently, I was reminded of my Africa trip and specifically the “migration” part when a friend asked me “don’t you feel left out around your friends since most of them have been promoted to mommyhood and you are not even pregnant”? For a minute, I was silent and during that moment of silence I was actually trying to measure the dumbness level in that question on a scale of 1 to 5.

I also thanked my stars for not giving me the “FOMO of not having babies when all my friends were having them”. Not that I abhor kids. On the contrary, it takes me less time to bond with children than adults. Also, no one is perfect and I have my share of FOMOs — when I am not striving to learn something new in my daily life, when I have not read a book for 2 weeks, when I don’t exercise for 2 days straight, when I don’t eat healthy for few days, when I don’t travel as much as I want to, when I don’t call up my parents every 2 days, when I don’t spend enough time with my spouse…etc etc.

But FOMO of not having a baby never ever crossed my mind. I admire my friends who went on to experience motherhood and my respect for each one of them has multiplied just by seeing them grow into these patient, loving, and beautiful mommies. Does that mean I am ready? No.

Just like many other milestones in life, having a baby is a personal choice between 2 people and it should not be influenced by such superficial and external factors. I sincerely hope and pray that you get this my friend.