Challenges
I say I am fine,
I want you to go,
I can deal with it in time,
Im stronger than you know,
I want to run,
Yet I don’t know why,
I am having a butt load of fun,
Yet I am feeling so shy,
My fear controls me,
My head in a bind,
My knees betray me,
Off the ground must I climb,
Immobile and scared,
I am stuck in place,
Feeling alone and unprepared,
For what I must face,
My heartbeat is racing,
My world spinning,
In my head I am pacing,
I know this is just the beginning,
Self doubt and disappointment,
Are demons I face,
Financial threats and unemployment,
Feelings I cannot place,
Today is a new day,
Tomorrow not promised,
I want desperately to run away,
But not to throw away what I have accomplished,
A deep need to be understood,
But a terrible feeling in my chest,
I would explain if I could,
But I can’t even at my best.
Im grateful and happy,
Though alone and daunted,
I don’t mean to be sappy…
But you make me feel wanted.
Part of that scares me,
Part if it helps,
Part of it allows me to see,
Worth within myself.
But even through all of it,
My head won’t let it rest,
Telling me to quit,
Give up let someone else take the test.
The words hurt,
Deep inside I feel it,
I fear I will be burnt,
Yet I won’t, I guarantee it,
How does one stop,
The emotions deep inside,
From taking over her mind,
When they aren’t at all rational, and aren’t at all kind?
