I’ve Got Mail!

I wake up when the sun is up

Rubbing sleep out of my eyes…

I think, as I look around for my pup

A good night’s sleep feels so nice!

I get out of bed and walk out to the lawn

Hand on my mouth suppressing a yawn…

Time to check for mail in the mailbox

Hope I don’t find a pair of dirty socks!

Oh my! Looks like I’ve got a few letters here

Surprising! I haven’t got a lot of people near and dear…

Ah! A letter from a friend up in Cardiff

I hope it’s not about his big old Mastiff!

An envelope with no return address

Has my brother gotten into another mess?

A colorful postcard from an old Scot

Met him in an abandoned parking lot.

Next is a big envelope and what is this, I wonder

“iFriend Services Inc.” says the label for the sender…

Curious, I sit on the bench and open the flap

A bunch of brochures fall out into my lap.

I pick up the first one and start reading

Takes me less than a minute to be cursing!

Never been a big fan of uncalled for spunk

This one is a fat bunch of mail that’s junk!

Direct marketing companies always suck

Sending unsolicited mail that’s just muck…

I toss the pile of brochures into the bin

Karma’s a bitch, when and where did I sin?

To be greeted by junk mail on my birthday?

All I can do now is sit down and pray!

May the devil in hell reserve a berth

These junk mailers are of no worth!