You know what I strongly dislike?

I strongly dislike middle grounds and in-betweens.

I hate 2% milk and diet soda. Make a decision. Do you want the creaminess of whole milk, or do you want to health consciously choose skim milk? If you are going to drink a supersize Coke, you might as well allow the nutrition facts to control your body. If you’re afraid of calories, then why are you choosing soda in the first place?

Pajama jeans and jeggings—what even? So you want to deceive others into believing you look put together; you put “consideration” into constructing this outfit, and you had the strength and willpower to pull on a pair of real pants this morning. But then you want to negate the saying of “pain is beauty?” That old proverb is like gravity—you can’t just defy it. Is it a sloth-around-with-your-jammies day, or do you aim to make yourself look like a presentable, well-dressed human? Pick one.

When you progressively work on an assignment, there are far too many middle stages. You’ve started a project, but you haven’t finished it yet, and now there’s this creeper in a white van lurking on your to-do list.

For the upcoming exam, essay, homework assignment: are you going to bust your ass to showcase your highest potential, or are you going to sit this one out and not try at all? Stop doing things half-heartedly. Either put your all into your effort, or put your all into your indifference.

I also despise B’s. Had you taken a step further in effort, you had the potential to make an A—but hey, you’re lucky because you performed mediocrely enough to be lugged out of the average C category.

I absolutely abhor “I’ll let you know later’s” and “maybe’s.” Come on. Please just give me a curt reply now or never respond to me. Don’t torture me with a wait, because that’s only one more thing on brain’s laundry list.

When you ask people which they prefer, or which restaurant they’d like to eat at, when they respond with a passive, “Oh I don’t know, anything is good with me, I guess”—no. Take this opportunity to voice your opinion, dammit.

I don’t understand the concept of “friends with benefits.” So what are you? Do you want to be fully committed or not at all? Wait—you want only a certain aspect of commitment but you don’t wish to go all the way?

What’s even worse is the gray areas in relationships and friendships, coupled with the awkwardness of not wanting to ask, but frantically craving clarity. So are you still mad at each other, or have you signed an unspoken truce? Do you want to remain friend-zoned, or is there something more? Despite your burning questions though, keep your texts vague so you don’t seem desperate. Say what you think the other person wants to hear to ensure you don’t overstep the boundaries of invisible chalk you never drew in the first place. Why don’t you just drift in your security floatie of stagnation, perpetually stuck in a tense ambiguity? Oh, how lovely fifty shades of gray area feel…

Then, there’s being a broke college student. You have enough money to sustain yourself as a living being. You have protection against inclement weather, and there’s never a worry about satisfying your tum—but with each passing day, you’re plagued deeper into a lifetime of debt… What is it then, are you comfortable and okay, or should you be freaking out about your finances?

I love my school, but I don’t like the Midwest. It’s not the east coast and it’s not the west coast, just this “blob” in between. It is the literal middle ground of America, a bridge between two worlds. I’m sustaining, or at least trying my damn best, to sustain relationships and friendships back in New England, but I’m also trying to forget about aspects of my former life that weigh me down. I want a fresh start, but I’m scared of creating a ghost of my past.

And here lies my biggest conflict with middle grounds, because I am the biggest hypocrite. I hate gray areas and in-betweens, but that is the perpetual state of my frozen inertia. Middle grounds are frustrating—but they may not be all bad.

Perhaps being in a strange mid stage means we’re simply more flexible. We’re okay with allowing our foods to touch and our colours to mix. We can simultaneously satisfy ourselves and please others, as well. We understand how to self-motivate, but also how to give ourselves some leeway, so we are not choked by the isolating dilemma of a must-do or a fuck-it. Middle grounds teach us patience—how to relax among a string of high-strung stresses, and how to accept slow progress. In the gray area of relationships, it is only when we live in the questions for a while that our confusions can finally clear. Human connections don’t always need labels hot off the press.

Balance is difficult and cumbersome, but our lives need homeostasis. The past and the future are not mutually exclusive options. The present is the ultimate middle ground—a harmonious blend between everything we used to be, everything we’ve learned, and a culmination of what we will become. And in that, there is beauty.