To be Female

Do you remember your first period?

I remember mine and as usual "the first time isn’t always the best time " I was an early bloomer, I got my first period when I was twelve. I remember crying the day I turned twelve because I was getting "old", I wanted to be twelve forever. Excuse my naivety, I was a young girl living a carefree life 😅

I was really quiet but smart, I had begun to ask questions about sex at a young age but my parents didn’t have the "TED talk" with me so I tried to get answers anywhere but from them.

Our parents were not Gen Z enough to speak so openly of sex and sex-related issues but we love them anyway and excuse their “supposed” archaic parenting method

It was immediately after recess, I had this slow trickling feeling and I rushed to the restroom. I saw blood and my heart skipped a beat and immediately began to beat fast. Then I remembered the only thing my mom had told me, " Don’t let a boy touch you or you’d bleed" and my brows arched, heart still beating fast I questioned myself, " But nobody touched me or did I forget? Who touched me during recess?" I had almost begun to cry now, I didn’t know she meant "touch" in a different way

I left the restroom with shaky hands and a beating heart. I walked to the biology teacher’s office. Mrs. Lola was heaven-sent, she saw me looking so distraught and inquired so calmly. I remember saying with so much fear, "Aunty no one touched me but I saw blood on my panties". Mrs. Lola smiled so sheepishly and I was beyond confused, she then explained what I know now to be "Menstruation". I can’t remember if Mrs. Lola gave me a sanitary pad or toilet paper but she took me to the restroom and helped me clean up.

I didn’t know how to tell my mom about the "new development" because this wasn’t a topic that was frequently visited. I was in pain, confused pain, and still haven’t gotten a hang of sanitary pad 101 but I did tell her eventually. Guess what my mom did? She smiled and began to dance and chant," my daughter is now a woman".
I looked at her like a confused human being but she kept dancing..then she began to bombard me with lessons on sanitary pads, menstruation, and sex. Yes, sex. My mom waited till I got my first period to tell me what she meant by "touch" and she just scratched the surface. Then she got me “7up” to celebrate the milestone. I know what you’re thinking, mommy gave me a truckload of sugar during the worst times, I’ve forgiven her though 😅

She knew not what she was doing”

As inquisitive as I was, I wasn’t satisfied with so little knowledge. She had introduced me to a new world of potential discoveries and I craved for more information, not for any perverted desires but just sheer curiosity. I was scared to ask her questions so I went to my neighbor. We called her "Mommy Divine". She was the opposite of my mom. I felt drawn to her, she was expressive and I asked her my sexual questions and she didn’t hesitate to rain information on me.. cautiously of course but she told me way more than my mom did. When my mom found out I had gone to ask my neighbor questions about sex, she was really angry and gave me a spanking

Ironic, isn't it?!

How do you tell a child to openly talk about a topic you’re even reluctant to speak about?

The sad truth is I know you had the same experience. Yes, you.

Our parents didn’t educate us as much as they should have. It was taboo to “talk sex” in our homes and they only brought it up at the last minute. Let’s not talk about how our fathers excluded themselves completely from sexual topics but were ever ready to skin any boy who was seen close to their daughters

I expect that we should be better at communicating because with each passing minute it becomes more important for us to do better than our parents, to be better than our parents.

I began to see beauty as pain because I wasn’t taught that it wasn’t. Sex is an important topic to have with your kids, male and/or female. Start early, with little details suitable for each age and you’d simultaneously be forming a bond for when things become rocky, by rocky I mean when your kids become insecure, don’t care about relating with you, would rather speak to other people.

There’s a word for this, you’re right.. puberty. Prepare for puberty before puberty because it sure would be a rollercoaster for you and your child

Sex education should start at home, just like Charity.

Beauty isn’t pain when you know what beauty is and what it can be.

Beauty isn’t pain when you know how to be beautiful

Teach your children the beauty of human anatomy before they teach you

Glossary
7up: a soda (also known as soft drink in my parlance)

*whispers* You’d probably feel nostalgic after reading this, this space is safe to share your first period experience too.

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My mind's a web, KLAIRING it gives me peace. I write Poetry on Miraquil too : http://www.miraquill.com/k_lair Contact: theklairway@gmail.com

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K_lair

K_lair

My mind's a web, KLAIRING it gives me peace. I write Poetry on Miraquil too : http://www.miraquill.com/k_lair Contact: theklairway@gmail.com

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