inside

Do you start each day, with a moment of peace

Where in passing, you thought today could perhaps be simple,

Unmarked by my image?

Does it dawn upon you like a cold chill

Or a sudden fever?

Do I flood the room with the morning light,

Or envelope the walls like a haunting shadow

Searching, watching, waiting?

Do you find me in your recollections

Smothered in the ink of your clouded, unspoken thoughts

What pictures does my memory paint,

As you drag me across your bedroom walls?

Do I manifest it the figures of my body

Which you once memorized so intently?

Or do I imprint myself in moments, sensations

Like fingerprints on your wall?

Does the day invite you

With streets bearing my name

And nature mimicking my traits

Like unforgiving, cruel poetry.

Do you find yourself sleepwalking in conversation

Tiptoeing around their words

Looking for my voice?

Do you think of the dullness of their topics

The idleness of their tenor

Do you wonder, perhaps

What we might be talking about instead?

When your tea bleeds into the boiling pools of your cup

Does it ever, just for a moment, adopt my form?

Do you pause and gaze again

And see nothing but the wounded leaves

Occupying the clear, flooding into its purity

Flavourful, bitter.

Do you taste the other people

Do you feel them with your body

Like the copycat version of your favourite confectionery

Distinctly unsatisfying

Intrusive on the tongue.

Do you become warm in the evenings

With drink, with company

Do their bodies make you feel you’re accompanied?

Do you feel less desolate?

Do you watch the tenants fill my shadow

With evictions in your eyes

Do they ever make a home

Out of your ugliest, emptiest parts

The way I did?

When the nighttime falls upon us

Do you feel its unbearable weight?

Does it slumber on your ribcage

And dream into your lungs?

Does it immerse you in your desires

The ones you kept sewn in your pockets all day

Shut.

Does it pry apart the seams, and expose all your fantasies

Of being inside me

Of laying beside me

Of being near me

Of laying across from me

Of hearing me speak

Of smelling my fragrance

Of seeing my face

Of feeling my heartbeat

Of trusting me

With everything.

Do you start each day

With a moment of peace?

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