Healing soul

It never felt like it would,
despite everyone saying it’ll be okay.
They said they’d always be there for you,
Even when you didn't ask them to stay.
It’s not that you didn't appreciate it,
the support that was constant.
It just made you feel weaker somehow,
being so dependent.
Because you didn’t let anyone ever hear,
your most loud and painful cries,
It felt safer to be on your own in the lowest lows,
and in the highest of smokey highs.
The shattered fragments of myself,
were scattered everywhere I stepped.
I should have worked on mending it all,
But instead I just retreated and wept.
Those tears created a waterfall leading to a river,
One that reflected my own face,
The answers were so painfully simple,
in contrary to the complexity of black intricate lace.
I am yet to see a clear horizon,
but now sail with knowing one exists,
The anxiety comes and goes often,
Open palms more so than clenched fists.
The darkness is seemingly lifting,
Though the light loves playing tricks.
This is not an overnight miracle healing,
I know I am the hardest thing I will ever fix.
28.08.2017
