Too Slow to Hold

Kaela Harmon
Sep 6, 2018 · 2 min read

Breathing in the sent
Of my
Of your
Smell on my underwear
Soaked in blood
That’s what happened last night
Terms I can’t explain
Craving the smooth on my bumps
He criticised
He wanted to buy the bandage
He never said
Talk
Language was giving to you to you
Here is a gift
Take it
Talk take
Give myself to you
I’m not depressed anymore
I found purpose drunken molly popping
Screaming the walls wet
You know where to go
You told me there
“Its love”
(No)
Why clean when I have grass
Able to contain the cruel chemicals
You spit in my face into the water
I am water
My grass is my hair
Reality
Mother of a mother on a couch
Telling me of the stories of fairies
The day I came home
Hours after
Weeks after
Months for some
Scared of the idea of knowing
Asking questions to the answer you know
My nasal passage swells
Allergic to love
I saw a girl have her mother say “shh”
Let me talk
I been talking

I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I found a man I love I been trying to push him away, he will stay, pull me into the guts of your thoughts let me drink your blood — I love him — I love him

The thought of the little girl becoming me terrifies me
Her pants down blood dripping
Health taking care
Hugging when you rise
Breathe in breath out stop breathing if you don’t want the answers
Sigh away the answers
Solutions of a broken marriage
I am myself I am happy
Curtain closes to claim your prize

Kaela Harmon

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