Screenshot from a fetish clip I shot

Where our similarities end

I creep on this chick’s blog. I secretly hate her. I am fascinated by her. I check in on her blog about once a week, so not obsessively. Just enough to see her updates.

I used to hate her much more, when I was escorting and she was trying to stay in denial that she was a sexworker.

I hated her because she denied being a sexworker, and yet was. She claimed to not be a snob, but at that time, she wanted all the benefits of being a reviewed escort (access to blacklists and lady’s forums), but not the downsides of having reviews and ads and pictures out there. She wanted to take from the community, without giving back.

You have to be who you are, with the people you are with. You can’t go around on roller skates at a skating rink and call yourself a surfer. If you go around on roller skates with surfers, they’re going to think that you’re mentally ill at best. If you’re a chick charging outrageous prices for your time in hotel rooms, and you have need to check guys against escort black lists, you’re an escort. Doesn’t matter if you charge $20 or $2000 an hour. Doesn’t matter what happens or doesn’t behind those closed doors.

I hated her because she was open about being a mother. I am the overprotective type. I don’t talk about my family, or lack of it. Guys can figure it out, but it’s one of those private subjects that stays behind closed doors. Kids need to be protected. This woman was violating one of my cardinal rules, and I felt like her being so honest to her kids and about her kids, was potentially putting her children at risk. I don’t know her clients, I didn’t know her kids.

I let her refer two guys to me, they were in my top 5 worst experiences with any men. Ever. I felt justified being worried about her kids, since she apparently wasn’t, and saw men like that.

I hated her most because people always compared us. Clients saw me as a more expensive version of her. We had some similarities: we both blogged regularly, we both had boobs, both genetically very feminine female, we were in the same area, within 10 years of each others age, both wrote on our profiles that we liked sushi and were classy… sounds like lots in common to me!

The comparison that we were alike because we both wrote, really pissed me off. She wasn’t even a good blogger, and she didn’t cite her sources when she’d venture into something scientific (like writing about how to deal with impotence). I got pretty far in college sciences, enjoyed writing research papers, and always cite my sources (unless I’m writing opinion about them, like I am here). I can cite MLA and APA style, dammit!

This chick was a poseur. It pissed me off. She needed therapy so bad, that I would have personally paid for it if I had been able to turn myself into a fly on the wall.

How does someone get so fucked up?

We met a few times. She was nice enough, but I thought she lacked street smarts and told her so. She put SO many pictures of herself and videos and wrote so much explicit wording about her sexual encounters, that as a longterm web girl (and relatively short term whore), I saw dollar signs in what she was giving away for free.

Get on Clips4Sale I told her! Put your videos on Clips4Sale, tell your stories into Niteflirt and sell the audio, video record you reading your blog and sell the video. Sell! Aren’t you a fucking sexworker to make money? Then you may not have to escort, since you obviously have issues doing it!

She thought that selling her sexual stories, images, and videos would be pornography and catipulating as a feminist.

Sexwork is sexwork, in my mind, but some women draw tiny lines and say they’re really sugarbabes when really they’re prostitutes who go to dinner, they say that just because they don’t get naked on cam doesn’t mean they’re camgirl (they still are), or say that because they do private bachelor parties that they aren’t really strippers (they are still sex workers).

I am not sure why I still read her blog. She’s started recycling some older juicy posts. She took a lot of the stuff about her kids off (thank god, and I hope it wasn’t because of an abusive experience). She got banned from PayPal and every other mainstream merchant account.

She is slightly less a poseur now, 8 years (or so) later. She travels, has nice things, and brags about quitting her 8–5. Obviously her escorting has taken off. She does not seem so conflicted in her personal writing, and is more discreet.

She still markets herself as educated and still as an expert. She still insults anyone with more than a high school education, with any professional training or continuing education.

If she were just as honest as she encourages others to be, I probably wouldn’t hate her, but she might be less fascinating because of it.

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