Taking a Ride on the Struggle Train

It was my sophomore year of college when I experienced my first hangover. My head was throbbing. I was so nauseous the room was spinning. Every smell sent me into a world of agony. “This is the end,” I thought as I emptied the contents of last night’s party into the cold comfort of the Porcelain Goddess. “This is how I am going to die.” Moments later, my roommate/bff/soulsister extraordinaire appeared with a glass of water, a banana, and a tiny capsule of, what looked like, ground up dirt. “What the f*ck is that?!,” I accused her as she handed the items to me. “Just take it,” she said, laughing in spite of my despair.

So I took it. And thus was born my passion for holistic healing.

The contents of this magical hangover remedy were simple; water for hydration, a banana for potassium, and a milk thistle capsule for an extra liver boost. This became my remedy of choice anytime I had a little too much fun during a night on the town.

As I grew up and passed these remedies on to my friends, my remedies and knowledge changed and evolved. I became more curious and creative with my potions, finding the perfect recipe to cure the Sunday Scaries. I am sharing them with you today.

  1. Water with doTERRA peppermint and lemon oils. I choose this for several reasons. First being that peppermint has known properties that help with nausea and stomach sensitivities. This is great for obvious reasons, but also because it doubles as a breath refresher (we all know Morning-After Breath is way worse than the regular kind). Secondly, lemon oil works as a detoxifier. It helps break down and get rid of all those terrible poisons you filled yourself with the night before. [KEY POINT: Make sure you use a glass bottle instead of plastic, as citric oils will break down the chemicals in plastics and thus contribute to your suffering instead of relieving it.] The best thing about essential oils is that they don’t have conflicting interactions so you can mix them together. Heart racing? Add Lavendar. Need energy? Add Wild Orange. There are tons of combinations you can make for your unique party symptoms. Plus, flavored water is always better than regular water. You can also put the peppermint oil on your temples, brow, and neck to ease headaches. If it becomes too intense, add a little fractionated coconut oil to lighten the effect.
  2. Banana. This is still a remedy I stand by. They have a mild flavor, a pleasant texture, and they’re mushy enough that if your body ends up reversing the digestive process, you wont be left crying about your throat (sorry for the visual). Plus, the added potassium is just what your body needs, because *science*. Drinking alcohol leads to excess urination which depletes your body of potassium and therefore heightens dehydration. Filling your body up with potassium the morning after is a wonderful way to nurse yourself back to health.
  3. My Secret Weapon: Po Chai. This Chinese herb is the magic wand of hangover cures. It comes in a tiny plastic vile of little red beads. Consume the entire vile the morning after or, if you are prepared, the night of and you will wake up in the morning feeling like a trillion bucks! This little guy has saved my morning more times than I can count back in my party animal days.
  4. Drink lots of water, eat some toast, and take a freaking nap. Sleep is your body’s best state for rehabilitation.

If you have any questions or need help sourcing any of these items, message me at ludderkg@gmail.com, I’m here to help and solve your puzzles!

Now hurry up and consume these things before the headache kicks in. And maybe delete your phone history just in case.

Doctah* Kalmanz, over and out.

(*not a real doctor)