“We’ve all had it. Those experiences and dark stories that hide in the roots of our brain. They’re masked by happiness and good days until things fall out of whack and you’re numb thinking about every bad thing you’ve ever experienced. We all have that feeling that no matter how many steps forward we take to move past that debilitating strike, were always sucked right back to rock bottom; being forced to pick our shit up and move on. It hurts. It’s hard. It often feels impossible. Why me? That’s all I need to know. What was it that I did that triggered such karma? The answer is nothing. What we lack to understand is that there are no shortcuts, no easy-ways out. For you to truly be the person you wish, that great person inside and out, we have to suffer.. We have to feel that rock bottom on our backs. We have to understand what it takes to rebuild yourself once you lose control. I talk like it’s some spiritual journey of finding yourself but it’s not. It’s a journey to understand what it’s like to work for something. Give every piece of yourself just to keep yourself ALIVE. Joke like you’ve never felt that black cloud hug your world like a long lost brother and squeeze every bit of colour out of it. It’s dark shit. But you need darkness to appreciate the light. You need to experience the hard work that is those symptoms of depression in order for you to appreciate those little things in your life. Once you accept that gift, once you overcome those thoughts, you’ll truly understand what it takes to love life. Don’t ever give up on yourself due to the challenges. As you make mistakes, learn. As you see mistakes made, learn. Never stop learning from what you see, what you hear and what you feel. Don’t lash out at the innocent. Just smile and thank god for another day of learning the blessings of life. You’re always loved no matter what you convince yourself. Show the world your worth.”

At 18, I cursed the world for making me have to endure these pains. Now, I thank god for what I went through for those 5 years. Mental health is something I always denied, acting as if “it could never happen to me.” A year ago, I started my process to fix it all. I used my phone to write my thoughts and where my head would take me.

It started with this one.