
Finding a way in Paradise
Every morning as the unfailing sunlight creeps through our open panel windows, he leans over me for a sleepy goodbye kiss before leaving to the hospital. “I love you so much.” Sometimes I’m barely awake, other times I’m still dreaming, but either way I find myself mumbling these words back to him and it hasn’t gotten old.
Today, it’s been three weeks since I moved to Oahu. Some days I’m in paradise, blasting reggae as I drive downtown to meet new friends in my borrowed pick up truck. Other days I’m sitting in the living room, dizzy from the heat and trying to stay optimistic as I open another job rejection email, confused as to why no companies have reached out for even an interview. I know I have so much to offer that it’s just a matter of time, but still….it’s a humbling process. I’ve been filling up my time networking, volunteering, and embracing the change. After all, that’s why I came.
Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve. -JK Rowling
He was the catalyst I didn’t know I was looking for. I woke up in Portland one day, just like any other, watering my fiddle fig tree and feeding my cat before rushing to the streetcar, walking into my beautiful office downtown, engaging in my work and making camping or travel plans for the weekend before leaving to join my other single, successful friends for happy hour. Yes, it was a wonderful, happy, and actually quite perfect life…but I realized I had been doing this for three years. The Exact. Same. Thing. Portland really is where young people go to retire and stay single forever. I couldn’t stay, but I still bawled all the way to the airport. Portland will always be my home, and I’ll return when my soul is ready.
Me: Am I crazy?! I just quit Airbnb and moved to an island to be with a dude.
Everyone else: You are an inspiration to us all! You are brilliant and so brave! You’ll be just fine! You’ll have the most beautiful babies! Write more, it’s so romantic!
Me: Geez. At least my autobiography will continue to be interesting.
Starting from scratch isn’t easy, but when I look at him and see my future, it’s well worth what I’ve left behind. We went to Costco and he let me pick out the Mango flavored salsa (cause HAWAIIIIIIII)…turns out it’s gross but he’s still eating it cause it’s a massive tub, and he hasn’t blamed me. If that isn’t love then I really don’t know what is.
Oh, I even adopted and planted a tea leaf tree on our deck yesterday. It took me over two years to commit to a plant in my bachelorette pad, but now this is home. I named him Elliot, and I’m determined to watch him thrive.
