reminders (not resolutions) for each month

dear 2016 me,

1. help her when she’s drunk and throwing up on the sidewalk, because you care about her. when she says she’s fine and everything in you wants to scream and leave right then and there, bite your tongue and stay to make sure she’s okay. it’s the right thing to do.
2. the best valentine’s day is one spent eating an inordinate amount of cookie dough while lying in a cramped bed with your closest friends.
3. listen to those songs assigned from your ethnomusicology class… and listen to them again, and again, and again, because you might actually learn something new and resonate with a part of the world you’ve never even been to before.
4. keep that sign chart for Gibbs free energy, enthalpy, and entropy nearby. it will come in handy one day. probably.
5. the door to the roof of the math building is always kept unlocked before 6 PM. go there when you need to be reminded why you’re here. the view is killer.
6. watching the sunrise from the window of the 8th floor will justify why you stayed up the entire night relentlessly working. it’ll be worth it… maybe not in the moment, but perspective is always best served cold.
7. not wanting to argue doesn’t make you passive and compromising doesn’t mean you’re a pushover, but you don’t need to say “i’m sorry” every time someone disagrees with you.
8. you think you know exactly what you want and need, but you don’t. it’ll leave you more exhausted than you were beforehand. don’t try to get it back; it didn’t work out for a reason. even when you can’t see that reason, God can, and does, and always did from the get go.
9. feeling anxious about the future is normal, but remember to cast aside your fear; it’s detrimental to your faith and well-being. He’s already got you covered.
10. he’ll come in the most unexpected of times, a blink at first, but then a messy ray of ultraviolet light that leaves you blind. it’ll happen so fast that no one will be able to save you. the feeling will be so intense that it will keep you up at night, a toxic mixture of pain and excitement and what if and hopefully. here’s a warning in advance.
11. eat lunch by yourself as often as you can. you’re constantly surrounded by people, and you need time and space to breathe.
12. people will disappoint you and you will disappoint yourself, and your mind will belittle you, telling you that it’s not worth it and things won’t get better. in a season when you’re supposed to feel utter joy, you will feel empty.

here’s to becoming full once again, even with the knowledge that fullness doesn’t last forever. here’s to a year of new lessons to be learned and new laughs to be had and new sorrows to feel more deeply than before. we aren’t guaranteed anything, not even that we will make it to see the end of this year. never stop being grateful for every moment that you are given. every uncertainty only works to further reveal the power of His love and providence.

here’s to coming this far. here’s to moving forward.

always, 2015 me