Being Female is Fine
In fact, it’s pretty fucking great.

Let me start by saying that I’m on board with the feminist movement in the sense that feminism is the fight for equality between males and females in the social and economic context. I don’t believe any one gender is entitled to better treatment nor do I believe any one gender should be subjected to less respect than any other. I believe in equality where it is possible and acceptance where it isn’t.
The biological experience between the sexes can never be equal. They can be similar, and they may even be more similar than you think. We are all the same gender in the womb until a single gene on a single chromosome flips the proverbial switch. But the ease in availability of information and discussion via the chasms of the internet has aided in the eruption of onslaught from the feminist movement.
Although most the issues women face within our society are validated by statistical research, the ever-growing pile might falsely suggest that the female experience is less than enjoyable. It might imply that our lives are mostly chaos and misery, fed to us from the calloused palm of a patriarchal society. It might make young girls feel hopeless toward their existence, in the same way that telling young girls that they are mentally inferior in mathematics (false, by the way) has led to a fog of learned helplessness in our education systems.
Before I go on, it is very important to note that in many countries, the woman’s existence is chaos and misery. Her mind, her body, and her very existence do not belong to her. In America, we are fortunate enough to steer our own vehicles. We still have bumps and curves, but we are in control of where we go, and for that, I am very grateful.
It is important to continue fighting for complete equality and respect, but I find it is equally important to celebrate our female experience. I don’t see very many women discussing what they love about being female. I see more women bemoaning the disease that is their 23rd chromosomal pairing, the dreaded double-X. I see so many women wishing they were born male, and I understand why that is. It is hard being a woman. It is much harder than being a man (in my biased opinion). But, like in all projects that require hard work, the reward is great. We should relish in that reward more frequently.
I want to note that I was not always so happy to live within this brain. This body. I am very guilty of coveting the male experience. In grade school, I spent all my time with other school boys. I got into fights with them. I learned how to belch from them. I even attempted to buzz my hair so that I could look like them. In my later years, I viewed the ability to bear children as a cursed burden. It meant spending money to keep myself barren. It meant being a slut in my pursuit of sexual fulfilment. It meant that for a week out of every month I would be called a “bitch” due to hormonal fluxes inside my body. It meant pain and ashamedness from and for menstruation.
But now I know that even that week in the month can be a chance for self-growth — learning how to work through hormone-induced depression and lethargy. I learned that just because I don’t want kids, doesn’t mean I should curse the system from which life is born, the one I harbour, that gives me the ability to directly choose if I want a child. That choice is a gift, and it’s inside me, waiting, should I ever change my mind. I learned that just because society tells me my experience is bad, doesn’t mean it is. I’m not a “slut” for my sexual pursuits. I’m a scientist in all aspects of my life and sex incites curiosity within me. I appreciate my positive sexual experiences as a female. As far as the negative ones go, I know they are not my fault. It’s also not my vagina’s fault that a man doesn’t know when it’s not okay to insert his penis. I don’t hate my openness anymore. I hate those who haven’t learned to sheathe their sword.
Here are some other things that I personally enjoy about being female:
You’ve never had an orgasm as great as mine
Obviously, everything from this point onward is biased and observational but from my personal experiences, I’ve never seen a man enjoy an orgasm quite like I have. That seems to be true for many women I’ve spoken to and even some men have confirmed for me that it seems like the female orgasm is an entirely different animal than the one they experience.
Generally, I too feel that the female orgasm is more powerful both because it doesn’t happen as frequently, and frankly, because it’s an anomaly within our anatomy. There is no known purpose for the female orgasm. Some have theorized that its sole purpose is to manipulate the mesolimbic pathway in our brains into seeking sex for procreation. Men orgasm when fulfilling their sexual duty, i.e., ejecting seminal fluid into the vagina (or a sock mistaken for a vagina). It serves an obvious purpose. Women can make babies just fine without climaxing and so the power of the female orgasm derives from the fact that it is a mechanism of pure, unadulterated pleasure. It seemingly serves no other purpose.
My ability to empathize is not to my detriment
For years, women were deemed weaker creatures due to their emotional prowess. I fail to see how empathy is an individual or societal detriment. If you zoom out, you’ll notice that very rarely do we find that men killing men is rewarding. It’s typically regarded as tragic, sometimes disguised as necessary, and usually stemmed from an inability to resolve differences between two parties.
Imagine a world where we didn’t kill the person who is different from us, but instead bridged a gap of commonality. Imagine if we were talking about our feelings diplomatically instead of beating our chests? Men are not incapable of tapping into the emotional spectrum. They have been told since forever that empathy is outside of their domain. It was reserved for the “weaker” sex. Boys don’t cry. But, boys should cry. Strength is not the absence of emotion. Strength is the practice of utilizing emotion. It is the ability to confront a demon or console a friend. It’s much harder to hug someone in mourning, opening yourself to their pain, than it is to ignore it altogether.
Behind every loaded gun is a person with intent to pull a trigger. And behind that intent, I imagine you’d find a thought or feeling not completely actualized, and if it could be unbottled and properly explored, you might find you have fewer fingers on triggers.
Stop and smell the roses
They were on to something when they released Disney’s Snow White. I’ve noticed that women are typically closer to nature than their male counterparts, or it may be, like with expressing emotion, women are more willing to show that they have that connection with the environment.
Animals are wearier of the hunter than the gatherer even in our modern society. How many times have you witnessed the chaos that follows a man entering the house in which a small dog reigns? Does that same small dog bark incessantly at a strange female? My experience is no. The garden is a woman’s castle. We have green thumbs and big hearts. We are in tune with the world around us. We have embraced our eutierria.
For now, we are both necessary components to creating life on this planet and hopping the fence between genders is still a complicated and grueling process. We could all do well by meditating on our unique experiences, focusing on the positive aspects that lurk within, and listening to less trap music.
