At What Age are You Supposed to Have Your Sh*t Together?

Today’s blog post is brought to you by my badass friend and partner in crime, Kimmy Haug. Pour yourself a glass of rosé, grab a bowl of popcorn, sit back and enjoy as she shares her blunt thoughts on society’s burning question:

So….. at what age are you supposed to have your sh*t together?

18 when you are considered an adult?22 when you graduate college?25 when you’re a quarter of a century old?30?45?

Or let’s be honest, do you ever really have sh*t together?

Is it just me, or does it seem like nowadays every time you scroll through your social media your family…friends… shoot, even that random stranger you are following because you are secretly obsessed with her dog, are posting these pictures that basically reflect them shitting f*cking unicorn rainbows. And while you are happy for them that they appear to have their sh”t together and be living this extravagant life of pure perfection, you also can’t help but compare yourself to their highlight reel and think,

Well, f*ck….

I don’t have that.

I don’t look like that.

I’ve never been there.

I can’t do that.

And 15 minutes of a pity party, “poor me” soap opera later, you ask yourself…

Do I have my sh*t together?

You want to know a secret, I’ve been there. But what is the literal definition of having your sh*t together? The answer…. there is no right or wrong answer. We all view and answer this question differently. Based on what I originally believed, I’m nothing but a 20 something year old, trainwreck. Welcome to my life — I don’t have this magnificent career, a house to call my own with a white picket fence, 4 kids and a dog, nor a husband. But if I were to base my life off of someone else’s answer to that question, I may be considered shitting solid gold nuggets the shape of Mona Lisa.

  • I have a college education.
  • I’ve cheered professionally for a NFL team.
  • I’ve climbed to the top of the Eiffel tower.
  • I’ve rode a gondola in Venice.
  • I’ve hiked beautiful waterfalls in Maui.
  • I’ve gone paragliding in Switzerland.
  • I’ve worked for a marketing company that was sold to Disney.
  • I’ve fallen in love.

But why do I still feel like a hot mess in the middle of a desert island?

Good f*cking question.

After careful consideration, I am confident in saying that no one (not you, not me, not the 103 year old lady who’s been around the world, literally) has their sh*t together. No, I am not being pessimistic. I am being real. And hey, some may disagree with me and more power to them. But, we get to so focused on how we think our life should be because of what the rest of society says, that we don’t enjoy the journey.

Life is hard.Things may not always go your way, in fact, the more you say “I have to have this, be this, do this, or be with this person, to be happy, the more life will tend to steer in another direction.You may you give your heart to the wrong person.You will experience rejection and the feelings of not being good enough.You will have bad days that don’t seem like they’re ever going to end.

But this (unattainable) expectation that we have created for ourselves and for those around us is a load of dog sh*t that you face planted in. So why is this realization exciting? Because life is truly what you make it and you get to decide what it means.

  • If you are married with kids, have a badass career, money falling from the perfectly groomed trees in your backyard and you are happy, GREAT!
  • If you are freshly single, trying to discover which career path best suits you, are living with the first person you found on craigslist in a tiny one bedroom apartment and are happy, GREAT!

What I am trying to get at is, we’re all works of progress so whatever age you are and however you are living your life, if you are genuinely happy that’s all that matters.

“You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. Plan to outdo your past, not other people.”

Period. The end.