Why there’ll always be chicken for Christmas

Today you ate chicken. If not today then yesterday, if not yesterday then chances are you ate over the past month. If you’re Ghanaian you probably ate it every single day over the past week. Nonetheless, chances are high you’re gonna eat something chicken related for Christmas (much like the 25 other million people in the country capable of eating chicken). Why then, my fascination with chicken all of a sudden? I don’t know. I remember something my parents used to tell me — and I’m certain your parents (if you are Ghanaian)did too —

“When I was your age it was only during Christmas that I was eating chicken and drinking Fanta and Coke”

I always took this interjection with a grain of m3ko, but the underlying point was certain: that this is probably the best era to be Ghanaian since we ( Ghanaian millennials ) no longer experience many insurrections and economic crisis ( sorta ). Either way, I digress, back to chickens and Christmas!

So I pondered back, and back even more. If my parents used to eat chicken during their Christmas, and their parents use to eat chicken during their Christmas and [insert recursive function of parents’ parents eating chicken], *long gasp, then people have been eating chicken ky33 oh!! Though this may be a wonderful discovery I am not even interested in that right now, what I’m interested in is how come chickens have been slacking so:

For thousands or maybe millions of years ( whichever one you believe in ) they’ve been hunted and domesticated by us and there’s not even been a single change in their behavior or strategy. ( Last Christmas I was the official ‘Akok)-catcher’ and despite the struggle- trust me, it was- I still tricked the chicken into captivity.

So for the next paragraph or two, I’ll be exploring why chickens will always be caught, or more interesting, why there’ll always be chicken for Christmas.

1. No chicken remembers what happened in the past

“ ..Ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls…” — Jeremiah 6:16 ( Man! It’s been a while since I wavitted )

One reason why there’ll always be chicken for Christmas is that the chickens of today know nothing about the chickens of yesterday nor what their ancestors went through. Whenever a chicken dies, the whole chicken history is literally reborn because no one remembers a thing: no one remembers that that man/woman who’s giving you free rent is your worst nightmare. No one remembers!

2. Chickens do not know how to spread news and warn each other

Ah! but chicken’s have small brains, how are they supposed to remember?” Well, can’t the chicken in Maamobi spread the word to the chicken in Adenta that they are in trouble? I mean, once the chicken-kind realize that one of their own has mysteriously vanished, instead of continuing to peck the little grains from the ground they ( or the assembly chickens ) should be running about the place shouting Cock-a-doodle-Five-0!!…and spreading the word of ‘winter’s coming’, literally.

3. Chickens do not know to read or write

“ And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it” — Habakkuk 2:2

Chickens do not read nor write history. This by far has been the most crucial reason for our survival as a species: our ability to materialize our present experiences, make them plain so that those who follow after can look for ‘the old paths’ and find the right way to lead their lives or at least the right way to survive. We’ve been able to exponentially advance our human race primarily because we keep track of the past and reflect to make wiser decisions ( if you are not doing this already, you may need to advise yourself) Chickens do not read nor write history and that is why the everyday-life of an average chicken’s life is like playing Mario, getting a game over and replaying all over again…no hope for the future!

“So what do I do with all this information?”

Well, for starters you could thank God you’re not a chicken ( especially a Ghanaian one ), and try not to be one. Instead, look at history, reflect on it and upgrade yourself, communicate, read and write, blah blah blah…the list continues.

There’ll always be chicken for Christmas because they do not remember or know what we did to their ancestors, they do not know how to communicate over wide landscapes and they do not know how to tell stories nor read nor write history

There are many more reasons, but I’ve got some sleep to catch up on😴. If you liked this🤗 don’t forget to give a few claps👏🏿…show some love💚

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