“People change” deconstructed
“People change.” Please that’s a naïve statement. Change is for the young. I had an argument with my sister the other day in regards to the belief that people change. I don’t believe that people can change, especially when they get older.
As I previously stated, change is for the young. By that I mean, young people change as they grow older because they are developing who they are as a person. Once you get to a certain age, your beliefs and ways stay the same. You have constructed your personality by determining what does and does not work for you. What you will and will not do. What makes you happy and what upsets you.
As you get older, those things are not so easy to change and therefore causing me to believe that change is not a possibility. Of course you can change your favorite color, food choice, music, etc. But those are trivial changes. They do not affect relationships with people.
To go back to what my sister and I were arguing about, can explain my position further and may justify my belief. She was upset with me because I don’t call her often. I told her that I am not a person that likes to be on the phone and I don’t normally call people a lot. I usually text or speak in person. She said that I need to change that because that’s not right. I was appalled that she would think that I should change the way I am to suit her. I told her that I would more than likely text her more often than call her. She was upset but I explained that there are certain things and certain ways that I and anyone else have incorporated in their life that causes them to be content with the way they are.
I am really not a phone person, I will never be a phone person, so that is not going to change. So she can either deal with it or not. I told her that if she feels the need to speak to me often, she can call me, since she likes to talk on the phone a lot. She was upset with the fact that she has to make the effort to call, but ah ha!!!! Since she believes in change, she should be willing to change her mind about having me call her, and she can be the one to call.
It’s crazy how people only want you to change when it suits them but they are unwilling to change to benefit themselves or make others happy. The quotes above defend both points in regards to the idea that change is not possible and the idea that people do change.
Change is such a fickle idea in the sense that it can be twisted in so many directions, as far as the intent, reasoning, willingness, effort, and consciousness to change or not to change. No matter what, I will always believe that people don’t change. Maybe it’s because I’m stubborn. But that’s another issue.