Bunkers
It is dark. The world felt silent. He couldn’t believe he was not sharing his idea with anyone else. The bed above creaked. Biz would be awake now!
Nes kicked the bed above, “I got a brilliant idea!!”
Biz wouldn’t budge, “You tell me your idea, and let me tell you if it is brilliant or not.”
“Very sarcastic, but listen, I’m gonna tell it to you, and you better not tell it to anyone else!” Nesman was thinking up the ‘ultimate idea’… again.
Biz maintained a straight face, “Very tempted…”
Nes “Think about commercializing graves!”
Biz “Ha ha. Very grave idea, indeed.”
Nes continued, “Precisely, there is going to be a time when you can’t bury enough people, what with all the dearth for Earth.”
Biz couldn’t see where this was all headed, “So…”
Nes continued, dazed by his sparkling new idea, “So, imagine, a system to bury in layers. Like bunker beds.”
Biz peeked down from his bed, “Wait wait wait WAIT! Like.. our bunker bed? You got THAT idea from OUR bunker bed?”
Nes was defiant, “No you fool. It was my original idea!”
“Not that I believe you. But, carry on. You aren’t going to stop using that brain of yours, even if I killed you!”
Nes was all expressive now. “Imagine.. if you can bury them like.. well.. like in bunker beds. There is lesser space constraint, lesser cost of land, and a family can be buried in a bunker!”
Biz played along, “And we can even commercialize it in really funky methods too.”
“Yeah, think of it. ‘Book your family grave now. Offer valid till your lives last. ha ha ha’”
“Woah very evil! Or something like two coffins talking, ‘Hey mom, I need that cheese sandwich, but I miss you. Wish you booked us a Bunker grave when early bird discounts were up for grabs’ “
“We could even call them Flats — Dear Flatmate, we are in your flat, mate.” Nes couldn’t control his maniacal laughter.
Biz was thinking hard now. “What about de-flat, because they are negative on the X-Axis. When your life deflates, you de-flat!”
“Ugh. That’s morbid, you nerd.”
“Morbid, but they gotta bid more for getting it!”
“Bidding? Auction the Bunkers? Can’t imagine things getting more money-minded than this! People are going to be agitated at this idea, there will be conspiracy, but I can already see this become a super cool hit! Our people accept anything commercial.”
They hi-five, as the lunch bell rings, and the prisoners crawl out of their bunkers, and go out for their meal.
Nes is a picture of complete happiness, the thought process he had conjured up could make them millionaires overnight, as soon as they left prison. Biz would always be the questioning authority, but Nes always held the upper hand! They look slyly at all the inmates, as they walk to lunch.
A newbie to the prison meekly looks at them walking towards him. “Who’s he?” he ponders.
The warden remarks, “That, my man, is going to be your cell mate. He calls himself The Biznes. He is a schizophrenic. He serves a life sentence here for killing hoards of people, in the name of really weird business ideas. Very weird prisoner, and will probably be buried in his own cell, if he won’t shut up!”
Newbie was bursting in evil happiness. This was going to be no ordinary, dull, gray life in the prison, after all!
P.S: What started off as a small thought, was soon dismissed as being too crude. Eventually, this became an idea for a starved mind, to write up this blog. But I cannot stop to think, that even this, crude as it may sound now, become a reality sometime soon. Burial grounds going out of space, people taking to such approaches, making a whole real estate market out of it, phew, we are capable of achieving the unimaginable. We may soon think, ‘What’s more fashionable than a family grave?’
