My own brain doesn’t make sense
Has it ever?
Such a mass of improbable neurons
Spinning through a void
Walking through a crowded room
And the crowd is the mass of other people’s judgement and choices and bright shiny examples of what they want me to be
What I never will be
I can’t
I won’t
Go stick your dreams in someone else’s head
Do you ever watch bad movies just to laugh at the acting?
The slightly-too-long pause before a response
The stilted way they talk as they try to remember their lines
The stiffness in their limbs as they carefully don’t look at the camera
And behind it all
Their blank eyes
With no emotion?
I feel a kindred spirit with all bad actors
Because while they are bad at playing a character
I am bad at playing myself.
My personality seems made up of bits of other people that I’ve copied over the years
