Somewhere in the far corner of my heart I knew that this day will come, but the scared me kept believing that you will be there, always and forever, with that mischievous smile and eyes full of love, showering your blessings on us.

Sitting there next to you, when you were gone, I realised what losing someone forever means. Never have I felt so helpless. Is one last smile a lot to ask for?

You never coddled me like many do. There were no tales from past or preachings for future. You never asked me about life or scolded me for my wrongs.

Maybe because the kid in you was always busy teasing me and then laughing. Your way of showing love wasn’t conventional.

Tell me the truth now, all the faafadas and jamuns and icecream you wanted me to have were because you wanted them too. Right? I know the foodie in me comes from where.

Me scolding you for having tobacco and you hiding it from me, you offering me polo and me eating it just because you liked it so much. Dadaji, I am going to miss that.

Whenever I will see a grandpa teasing his kids with stick, I will remember you.

Who will ask me what I want to eat all the time, who will I serve the first plate to, on whose hand will I tie first rakhi, who will now complain about dadiji,who will act deaf when someone he isn’t fond of will start speaking,who will play cards with us?

Who will smile at me, a smile so innocent and infectious, that it would make my soul happy.

How will I call it ‘dadaji ka gar' with you not around.

How will I walk into home knowing that you won’t be there anymore sitting in dukaan waiting for me to come.

You know you are the glue that binds us all. You spoke so less and yet I feel you said a lot. Words lose importance when eyes talk.

I never used the chance to tell you how much I love you, how I keep telling everyone about you, about how cute you are, about how much I admire you, about how badly I want to do a hell lot of things for you. And now, this thought keeps haunting me that I won’t be able to tell you ever.

The last meet, the last phone call, the last glimpse of you, I still don’t want to believe it was the last.

Heaven is lucky to have you Dadaji.

I have poured down everything in words and I wish you could read this.

If there’s another world and you are watching us,reading this,just know that I am so proud of being your granddaughter and that I love you,a lot more than I was able to show.

They say you are gone but I don’t agree.

And when I will look up at the stars, I will try to find you!