By Kanitha
A small girl with many big dreams but none of them has achieved yet used to cry herself to sleep at night and got up normally for school and work. She seems to forget where she stands, unable to notice her ability, her boundaries and get lost in her big dreams of being something BIG.

Spending years involving with volunteer works, I hoped that it would help me improving my soft skills such as communication, leadership, or even public speaking but the rate of growing remained steadily that didn’t match my expectations at all. I prioritized my volunteer work to my study. I used to believe that practical working is more valuable than theory that I learn at school. It’s not wrong. However, I did it in a wrong way. I was having fun doing volunteer work. I enjoyed traveling with team, took group photos, posted them on social media showing others I was doing something for society. Funny? I did something that didn’t really help me grow at all. I wasted my time and money. I had a meeting at cafe but the meeting didn’t worth much instead I spent money on gasoline and coffee which I didn’t like to drink. I organized the event, invited other to be a panelist, a guest speaker which I wanted to be myself. I dreamt to be one of them but I didn’t go to debate club nor public speaking club. Oh, I took an exam to become a debate club member but I failed. I didn’t work hard to develop my English which I am regret now. I am having trouble communicating in English when the fact that I am a junior in English. Sightttttt~

Dear readers, all the things I raised above I didn’t mean to put blame on my volunteer work but I am writing to remind you if you happen to see yourself doing actually like I was doing back then. You may join volunteer work but choose only one or two that match your desire. Don’t join because you want the gifts and certificates as I did which I am so ashamed right now.

Remember to balance your volunteer work and do it wisely!

Now, I am writing an article to criticize myself for having ton of dreams but I haven’t achieved any of them. I am struggling to work hard and study hard when I already in a junior year. I don’t know if I can manage to hold on with those dreams anymore. These are all my shameful experiences but without them I may not realize my real real dream.

Enhance your skill first rather than work blindly on controlling participation flow which every one can learn in minutes because some skills require lots of your time.
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