30 days of…
Trying a new approach to new year’s resolutions
I never keep my resolutions. Every year I set a bunch of intentions, goals, resolutions, missions, self-promises. They have a million names but the purpose is the same — to do better, try harder, be different. On this first day of 2019, I just can’t make myself another set of resolutions I won’t keep. I also know that I cannot keep looking at issues I have — like changing my relationship with food by learning to not eat my feelings — as resolutions when they are so much more than that. 2019 is about doing things differently.
In 2018 a friend of mine gave herself a bunch of resolutions and then picked one each month of the year as a focus. She documented her process of fulfilling each different resolution on the internet/social media and I found myself really following it. She wrote them all out on slips of paper, picked a new one on the first day of each month, and shared about it on social media as she was going through the process. All through the year, I watched her doing all these things she wanted to do.
Feeling inspired by her project, I wrote out 12 resolutions of my own for 2019. Cook at home. Do more Yoga. Meditate. Strengthen my friendships. Respect my body and stop counting calories. Reduce social media usage. Reduce TV consumption. Sleep more. Learn a new skill. Work on my personal projects. Drink less alcohol. See every one of my doctors. Then, I wrote them all out on notecards, folded up the cards, tossed them in a jar, closed my eyes, and picked one out as my focal point for this first month of the year.
For January 2019, I got 30 days of friends. This means returning all those outstanding phone calls, making plans with new friends, writing long overdue emails, spending time with people I don’t get much time with even though I want to, and really focusing on my friendships. As we often say out here in New York, your friends are the family you choose.
I have a weekly date night with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for almost 7 years and do a good job of being intentional about our relationship. I want to apply some of that to my friendships too. My first step is to reach out to a minimum of one, but hopefully more, friend(s) each day. Can be as simple as a phone call or text to say hi or as big as driving out to the country to spend a day together.
I will write about my experience at the end of January. I wish everyone happiness, success, fulfillment, and love this year (and every year). Here we go!
