My Think-Piece: I ‘Poo-Poo’ the Poop-in-Purse Story… here’s WHY

The internet is going bonkers about the “Poop in Purse” story. Some girl was at her date’s house, felt a hankering for a poo, excused herself, and -oh dear- the toilet clogged. So, she did what any rationale adult would do- wrapped the 1 piece of poo in toilet paper and put it into her purse. Then she went back to her date, to listen to him cooing sweet nothings in her ear- all the while her non-sweet something was mere feet away.

Here is why I don’t for one moment think this is true:

  1. This woman says later on, in a text to a friend, “Maybe the bathroom has a window.” Now, right here you know this didn’t happen. Because let me tell you — if I’m sitting on a toilet that won’t flush, and it contains top secret matter, you better BELIEVE I’m looking for ANY other way to discard it. She would have seen then if there was a window in the bathroom. Throwing the poop out the window, while extremely disgusting and not ideal, is 400% more sane than putting it in your purse.
  2. Unless this woman lives on seeds and grains, this poop would STINK. Has any poop ever not stank? No. It hasn’t. Her date would’ve smelled this souvenir and, instead of professing his love, would have professed her out of his home.

Besides, every time I’VE put a piece of poop in my purse on a date, I’ve been caught. So I guess part of me is just jealous.

Thank you for reading my think-piece on her purse-piece.

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