To all the people I’ve hurted
When someone mentions heartbreak or love disappointments, the first thing that comes to my mind is all the damage that I’ve received, the thousand ways people have played with my feelings and passed over me, leaving me empty and broken.
But isn’t that the same thing I have done to others? Out there you can find people telling stories were I am the villain, stories were my only participation has been to cause pain and hurt. So this goes to them, to those who have experimented my darkest side, to those who didn’t have my compassion, to those who I did not care enough to leave my own feelings or my proud aside for.
This goes to the friends I let down, they received my back when were in the desperate need of an understanding hand, they gave me their trust and faith and laid on me while looking for support and comfort and all I did was leave them behind because suddenly I felt as if I had to move forward and they were holding me down. Now I know that as a friend you can break a heart even in a deeper way than a lover ever could, and those wounds may never completely heal.
This also goes to my lovers, it would take me forever to describe the million ways I failed as a soulmate, I’ve never been able of giving a pure love, I’ve never been able of giving my heart and feelings unconditionally with any precaution, I must be sorry for all the drama, manipulation, nonsense fights and toxic company I gave you all. While you offered me your heart, love and future I took all that and throw it to trash as soon as I saw the possibility of getting hurt, as soon as I felt my emotions going out of control I’d just run away and never looked behind. My biggest sin has been putting myself first in the most selfish way without caring about the pain I may caused.
And I guess that’s the thing about life, it makes you play the part as a victim so that you’ll experiment on your own the damage you caused to others. This is my poor intend of an apology and I dont know if it helps, but I can assure you this: Life has given me in return nothing but what I gave to every single one of you.
