Why I am Giving up on Tech Diversity

Okay did that get your attention?

So, it’s not 100% true. I am NOT giving up on it as a larger goal in life, just as a professional project to which I am volunteering my time. And here is why:

1. There are only so many hours in a day — and as I get older I am finding the need to be even more selective regarding where I focus my energy. My personal/mental/spiritual health comes absolutely first, family/friends/community second.
2. I need to focus my professional time/energy on specific activities related to my job and my customers. Working at a tech startup is tough. Working at a tech startup as a woman in the DevOps space that is changing faster than I can even talk about it (and if you have ever been in a meeting with me you know that is FAST). I already have a skills gap in this space for various reasons (yes, including 30+ years of micro and not-so-micro oppression in the space), and I need to spend my time catching and keeping up — learning things like Docker, K8S, Jenkins, etc. etc. You know, like the men do. I will help the #TechDiversity movement by working to be a badass smartypants computer lady.
3. True company priorities need and receive resources. I make this joke that instead of using all that great VC funding to develop product, we should just ask for a group of volunteers from a group of already over-worked and dedicated people to build the new enhancements and product. Doesn’t sound like the best business strategy.
4. I want to keep my activism separate from my workplace. I love where I work, the company is great, my co-workers are incredible, and I have THE BEST customers. I don’t want my opinions, writings, snark, fist-raising, and general boat-rocking to be in any way associated with them. (for example, see #3, #5)
5. I am not particularly interested in the specific areas which professional tech diversity is focusing. I am glad people are looking at things like hiring practices, conduct clauses at conferences, and increasing diversity in speakers. But I’m finding my interests more along the lines of things like fighting against incels and raising issues like #5 and #6.
6. I deserve to get paid for my time. Volunteering is cool and all, but there is serious danger in continuing to take on more and more empathy and unpaid work at my job. We want more diversity in the workplace, not more work for those of us who are already here.
7. I constantly feel like I am failing and neglecting helping people I promised to help by leading a program to improve diversity in technology. Fail fast and move on when it doesn’t work, right? Well, it’s not working.
8. I am tired. “Diversity Fatigue is Real.”

Mad props to those of you who are on the front lines with this. I am there with you, I just can’t be there for you right now.