Why I teach women how to shake hands.

I am part of a different kind of visible minority; I’m a female creative director in advertising.

I’ve been in this business for decades and the ratio of women in the upper echelons is still woeful. But this is not a rant. It’s food for thought for women with ambition.

Yesterday I attended a portfolio night. Fifty Toronto CDs gathered to offer helpful feedback on the books of aspiring students trying to break into the business. These kids were set to impress with books polished and eagerness radiating out of every pore they were keen to make an impression. Four of them had ridiculous handshakes. I mean, they were non-shakes. They meekly offered their hand with the feeble tentativeness of a small child. They also did not make eye contact. All four were women.

I stopped the interview right there and made them shake my hand again until they did it properly. Why? Because if you want to make it to the top it’s first things first. You need to get the basics right. Learn to shake hands properly. Don’t give me some limp, candy-ass handshake. Don’t offer tentative fingertips fluttering nervously into my palm. Look me straight in the eye. Smile. And lock that mitt of yours onto mine for a solid handshake.

It’s your first impression and you only get one shot at it. Beyond being the cultural norm, in business a firm handshake is a signal of confidence. It is a must. To sell an idea you need to command the boardroom. You have to instil confidence in a client who is going to spend millions of dollars based on your idea. You need your boss to trust that you can manage a sticky situation, and show judgment when it’s needed most. You need your team to have faith in you. So telegraphing confidence is important. A wimpy faux shake will not cut it.

As women we face enough barriers as is. We don’t need to self-create another. During my career I’ve been told I couldn’t work on beer because “women don’t understand it”. So I started a brewery. I not only understood beer, I brewed it, sold it and marketed it. At one agency I was told I couldn’t have the corner office because “it’s a big job and you’ll probably have babies.” So I left for a better shop. And I’ve had that corner office for 17 years now. Oh, and I also had two babies.

When I judged Cannes two years ago, there were five female judges on a jury of 31. But you know what? Besides epic talent, they all had another thing in common. They each had firm handshakes. They emanated confidence. It’s not the only thing that propelled them to Cannes. But I’m betting it helped along the way.