Karen Carless
Sep 2, 2018 · 1 min read

How to say the ‘R' Word?

Twenty one years ago this week and that happened to me.

That word i still struggle to say. The one which guarantees to make me stop in my tracks. Brings back an avalanche of emotion knocking my world off kilter again. That word which is every womans, and mans nightmare. A ‘dirty’word which is overused but under acknowledged.

Then it was a different time. No social media telling me how or what to feel or how to deal with it. No constant stream of people sharing this horror in some form. Then was a small village and black ink on a white newspaper intimating who the ‘victim' was. Then was people glancing, judging, and hushed words. Then was police led counselling, which had the opposing effect and made me feel guilty, to blame for his actions. Finger pointing over choice of clothes and lifestyle. Then was my loneliest, darkest most heartbroken place. The me that i knew was taken…..and has never come back.

My life path altered for always. I didn’t stay in the dark forest forever. I am a lucky girl. But the trips back there are more frequent than i would like and i still cannot say the R word.