Stunning reply.
Donna M Fedor
21

Donna M Fedor, thanks for your nice response. One other by-product of my new way to understand my own brain is I now believe my brain and body integrate to work for me instead of against me. I now mine my brain and body for all the information they can give me when making my decisions. This is a radically different strategy because I was taught to analyze my own personal decisions for why they were inadequate. I was taught to understand myself always from the point of view of inadequacy.

I was taught my past experiences plus my own personality traits conspired in my unconscious and then made me do counterproductive things. When I believed that, I treated my own brain and body as a spies out to get me.

Now I believe my brain and body work together to make optimal decision for me in real time. As I gain experience and knowledge, some of my past decisions seem sub-optimal. Instead of believing it was my unconscious working against me, I simply see those past decisions as having been made with less than adequate knowledge or experience.

Taking my brain on as a friend instead of a foe has made me much more realistic about what I can achieve as well. If I am not achieving a goal, I modify the goal to match my capabilities instead of trying to modify my inner self. I now believe I can achieve realistic goals based upon my interests, skills, and strengths and based on my realistic assessment of my weaknesses. I no longer believe the idea I was taught that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. This idea distorted reality for me and gave me more a sense of my own inadequacy than it gave me a sense of hopeful anticipation.

This doesn’t mean I have stopped reaching or striving. For example, I have a goal of writing a book about these thoughts. The goal is overwhelming because it requires organizational skills I am weak at. Instead of trying to improve my character or my personality or to wrestle with my unconscious as I would have in the past, I am simply working on improving the skills I need. In addition, I am more willing to seek help for my areas of weakness and to modify my goal if I cannot make enough progress.

Thanks again for your nice response. Good luck in your quest. My tips and tricks don’t work for everybody, but in case they resonate, I thought I would send them out.

Like what you read? Give Karen Kilbane a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.