This is probably the intersection of where we disagree. Our emotions exist to inform us, not the other way around. Emotions are spontaneous accompaniments to our predictions. They do not exist for us to mold them or change them or micromanage them. Emotions are simply bites of information our brain supplies itself and the body in response to how we are interacting with information.
I can change my predictions about anything and by doing so my emotional responses often change as well in relation to the change.
But I cannot choose to change my emotions as psychologists would have us believe. Psychologists created an ideal for how they believe people should optimally think, emote, and behave. They base their ideas on an ideal. I think this is what you have done as well.
Instead of deciding upon an ideal outcome children should have in response to situations and then teaching them how to think, emote, and behave to achieve the ideal, I have observed hundreds of children over time and have researched neuroscience. I have discovered many ways in which the brain responds to information. Developing neutral descriptions for how the brain responds instead of formulas for how it should ideally respond is my goal.
My next goal is to develop brain compatible parenting and teaching methods, methods that do not inhibit or damage a child’s development by teaching him to work against his brain instead of with his brain.