Labour- The Truth

There seems to be some unwritten rule between all your friends that have had children, to never tell you the truth about giving birth. When you ask them, how their labour was, it’s either glimpsed over or it’s a distance memory which produced an amazing buddle of joy. The latter is the only part of the statement I would ever agree with.

Once I had been through the whole experience and had my daughter I asked one of my close friends what was the reason for not telling me the truth about labour, it’s certainly isn’t something I could forget easily nor my partner, whose still scared from the whole traumatic experience. The answer I got was you would never have children if you knew the truth about labour. I can understand where she was coming from with this statement, why would you opt to do something if you know it’s going to cause excruciating pain, you wouldn’t unless you had a something to benefit from it.

Once I was pregnant the whole concept of the labour intrigued me, how painful could it be. Hey, I was a gymnast back in the day and occurred many an injury including a broken back. If I could take that sort of pain, labour couldn’t be that bad, I have a high pain threshold I will be fine. How wrong could I be! Let’s get it out there. Labour is horrific.

Personally I would have liked to have been more prepared for giving birth, in terms of knowing what to expect. Not one book out there actually told me the truth. It would be useful to know that my partner should have packed flip flops as he might be expected to shower me after the birth because I would be too weak and still have half my insides from my womb coming out of me. Yes, I know every labour is different, but anyone who says it is a magical experience is talking bullshit or was so high on drugs that they really can’t remember the experience.

So here’s the truth. You will experience pain to a level that you didn’t think was possible whilst your still actually expected to do a job, such as push your baby out a tiny space, which most of the time isn’t possible, hence tearing and/cutting occurring. One of my friends actually got told that her body wasn’t made to produce a baby of that size, what the hell you are meant to do with that information. He still had to come out of her. Not to mention the indignity, of making cow like moans that you never thought could come out of your mouth, be half naked for the whole experience with random doctors, nurses and students doing their rounds coming in and out of your labour suite. Off course let’s not forgot with all that pushing a poo is going to come out, however quickly the medical staff try to brush it away, you know you’ve done it and so does your partner, however it is never mentioned again.

So one thing I did learn whilst I was in labour shouting, ‘she’s trying to come out my bum, SHES COMING OUT MY BUM’. Don’t worry she didn’t come out my bum, I don’t think it is possible for a baby to come out your bum. However when you get the feeling that your baby is going to exploded out of you bum due to the amount of pressure, it’s time to push.

Once baby arrives, you than wait to hear that first cry. The first cry is such a relief, you know your baby is ok for that moment. The whole labour is pretty surreal in itself, however having this little baby passed to you, snuggling into to you, is the definition of surreal. You cannot imagine how this moment will feel. I just wanted to drift of to sleep holding my baby. The connection was instant. We knew each other. This might sound caliche but I truly found these few minutes magical. But let me but you straight, this was only a few minutes of euphoria, where you are unaware of the trauma you have just experienced, I was soon throw back into the real world.

Tips

Apart from the standard items please put the below in your hospital bag.
•Tooth paste and tooth brush
•Hair brush
•Make up
•More substantial snack than maltsters
•Bottled water (or drink of any kind)
•Phone charger

I had none of these, my post labour photos were awful, and since my husband didn’t bring any of the above items to the hospital the following day I spent the day looking extremely rough looking!