Yes, I think there are plenty of people who have lived fairly protected lives, who try to do their best version of what they’ve learned about what it means to be a good person. For many people, that means to try not to judge a book by its cover. And perhaps it’s a poor choice of words, which therefore makes the phrase ultimately politically (spiritually) incorrect.

But you may be placing a different kind of prejudice on it — if where you’re leaping to is:

“When too many people make the assertion that racism and sexism and all those issues no longer exist, through the argument of “not seeing X,” then it may cause some people to actually believe that, but it does nothing to solve the discriminations plaguing real people who suffer them. Worse, it hinders progress, as it asserts that no progress need be made anymore.”

That’s kind of a big assumption to make from someone saying they don’t see “x” and you take it to mean that issue/discrimination doesn’t exist, so therefore they’re minimizing who that person is, or are ignoring that more progress needs to be made. What I hear that person saying (albeit clumsily) is that’s not a barrier they feel the need to place on you.

While that’s not a sentence I use, I do think it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. In terms of whether I think you’re a capable, talented, fill-in-the-blank-person. We all have baggage. We’ve nearly all been discriminated against at some point. Yes, absolutely, some forms of discrimination are more egregious and pernicious than others. And all forms of discrimination should have as much light shed on them as possible to bring change until they are eradicated.

But, truly, I don’t give a crap whether you’re rich or poor, gay or straight, white or a person of color, ex-con justified or not, male or female, young or old. Your life conditions and experiences are not the first place I’m going to start to determine whether I like you or trust you or want to get to know you or give you a job. Yes, all that’s going to shape your world views, thinking, and actions. But hopefully all of us are more than how other people treat us and how other people think about us.

I say this as someone who has experienced maybe more than my fair share of discrimination and extreme life experiences because of people’s stupidity and ignorance.

When someone says to me they don’t see “X,” I say great — here’s someone who is working at trying to have an open mind (rather than someone who’s trying to dismiss the challenges I’ve faced). That leaves lots of room to educate that person about all the change that still needs to happen.

That’s not to say that there aren’t true boneheads who use that phrase as a kind of perverse self-righteousness, (and I’m assuming that’s who you’re speaking to in your article) but in my experience, they’re not the majority.