My Biggest Takeaways from “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo

Wow, this book. Seriously. One of my best friends, Nidhi, recommended it. I love to read, so when someone I trust recommends a book, I make it a point to buy it as soon as possible.

Here’s an audio message I sent my close friends about the impact the book was having on me.

I was drawn to the book by it’s title “The life-changing magic…” –hmm…I want to change my life for the better, so let’s take a look inside.

The main idea of the book is that most of us (admittedly people of a sufficient socioeconomic status to be able to accumulate stuff) accumulate things that don’t necessarily bring joy to our lives. Think of old clothes, papers from a million years ago, mementos that once were important to you. The author (who is a tidying consultant in Japan, and a very successful one at that, with a 3-month waiting list) proposes that the current criteria we use to tidy up/discard things is flawed: if you haven’t worn it in 2 years, throw it out; only keep 5 pants and 2 sweaters, etc. And it leads to us constantly cleaning up: we don’t do it in one sweep, but instead find something and discard it, then see something in our closet and choose to discard it, and so one and so forth.

The problem with this approach is that it makes tidying up a CONSTANT thing that we need to do, and more importantly, as a result, it’s unresolved, you’re always doing it, so you never get to experience calm. And let’s face it, we don’t want to live our lives so that we have to always be cleaning up. We want to live our lives to LIVE OUR LIVES.

What does she propose instead? Three things:

1. Do it in one full sweep.
2. Don’t discard by room, but by category. That is, if you’re going to tidy your shirts, for example, don’t do it room by room. Instead, put all of them out in one room, place your shirts on the floor, and here’s my favorite part…
3. Ask the question: Does this spark joy? This is how you decide whether something stays or goes. And you hold each item in your hands, ask the question, and let your heart answer.

I love this approach because it sidesteps the rational mind: oh but I haven’t worn it yet, and I really wanna get to wear it; or, oh but it was a gift, and I feel bad throwing it out. Here’s how the author resolves it: things have a purpose; if someone gave you a gift, and you haven’t worn that piece of clothing, it’s okay, because its purpose was to a) make the person feel happy for buying you a present, and b) make you feel happy for receiving a present. That’s it. So you can say to your clothes: Thank you for making me feel loved by having received you as a present, you’ve served your purpose.

It sounds kind of woo-woo, I know. But for me it’s led to an important process of dealing with my past, and creating the life that I want now. Here’s Marie, the author on it:

“The process of assessing how you feel about the things you own, identifying those that have fulfilled their purpose, expressing your gratitude, and bidding them farewell, is really about examining your inner self, a rite of passage to a new life”.

Ultimately, it’s about being aligned with our feelings, and living a life of truth. By doing it with my clothes and my belongings, I get to practice a) being able to hear that intuition, b) being able to LISTEN to it, and c) being able to ACT on it. It’s a powerful skill to develop, and then use for everything else in my life.

Here’s the link to buy the book on Amazon.