Finding Strength in Weakness

Also known as, “Praying the Wrong Thing”

It’s just been twenty-plus days into 2016, and a lot has happened in my life thus far. Here are the Twitter versions:

  • I developed a nasty rash during my vacation
  • I got hospitalized for seven hours (mind you, not from the rash)
  • My aunt died from cancer
  • I went through some significant personal challenges

Thankfully, my supervisor allowed me to take a vacation leave last Friday. I needed to be alone, hit the brakes, and take a breather.

So it was on that Friday that I was pouring out to God all that I’ve been through this early on in the game. I pleaded,

Lord, tama na muna please? Pahinga po muna ako.

After all, I have had enough. I was ready to throw in the towel. I was tired.

As soon as that thought formed in my head, I realized that something was amiss. I was praying the wrong thing.

God wasn’t the source of those challenges, but He allowed them for a purpose. Asking Him to stop letting these things happen was akin to thinking that He was a heavenly punisher, out to avenge me for my sins and mistakes.

God isn’t like that at all. God is a good God. He allows things to work together for good (Romans 8:28). He has awesome plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11). His will is good, pleasing, and perfect (Romans 12:2). I can never know the exact reasons why I went through all those challenges early on this year, but I know for sure that He’s teaching me to increase my faith, put my trust in Him, and let Him be strong in my weakness.

And so I changed my prayer as soon as I realized my wrong thinking. I said,

Lord, give me the grace to go through these challenges.

I honestly don’t know what’s in store in the coming weeks and months of the year. What I know is this: God is a faithful God, and He will carry me through. He will never leave me nor forsake me. His grace is sufficient for me. What’s more, He is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. I don’t have to be afraid. He is sovereign. He is true. He won’t let me go.

And I can dare to believe that breakthroughs will come after my breaking.

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