Treat Families of Opiate Addiction Too

Karie Batzler
Aug 23, 2017 · 4 min read

On August 10, 2017, the US government took the bold step to elevate the opioid crisis to a national emergency. As we take this step, let us not forget to include treatment and support resources for the families and loved ones of the opioid addicts. The chronic, progressive nature of the disease of addiction affects the addict AND the family. As our country focuses on providing prevention, treatment and recovery resources for those addicted to opiates and other substances, I feel the fervent need to also shine a light on how the ravages of addiction also rip and tear at the family and friends of the addicted. More than 25 years of experience treating addicted families has taught me that, the upheaval and suffering of addiction extends with octopus-like tentacles to all who surround the addict.

In my professional experience, parents of drug addicted children wake each morning so grateful that their actively addicted* child is still alive; they do not see how their lives have also become twisted and turned by the parallel disease of codependent enabling. Most parents would gladly set aside their own wants and needs and even lay down their lives to save their children, regardless of their age. Parents often see themselves as the captains of their family, and as such are destined and expected to go down with the ship. As a consequence, this often places parents in the role of sacrificial leaders. In the frenzy of the life and death nature of active addiction, many parents and loved ones allow their personal resources to become depleted and find that they too experience the negative medical, psychological, financial and/or spiritual effects of the disease of addiction. As we confront the opioid crisis, we must not ignore the parallel disease of codependent enabling.

As a parent of 4, my husband and I have struggled on many occasions to draw a healthy a set of boundaries between where our role as parents should end and where our children’s need to experience the natural consequences for their behavior should began. Enabling is a term that is often used and misused when discussing families of addiction. In my experience, enabling at its core is based on the assumption and belief (and fear) that the individual is unable to accomplish everyday tasks and care for them. This belief system begins innocently, with parents supporting the needs of their infants and toddlers. Because the child is not capable of taking care of him or herself during these early years of in their development, the parent needs to step-in and complete these tasks and care for the child. I can personally attest to the fact that this type of parental caretaking becomes second nature. One of the challenges of parenting therefore becomes learning when to step back and allow your growing child to do more for themselves as they continue to development, age and mature.

There is no doubt about it; one of the side effects of active addiction is that it stunts our behavioral and emotional growth. As the addict begins to progress in their addiction, the disease process leads them to regress in their ability to problem solve when confronting the everyday challenges of their lives. A 40 year old in active addiction may actually be functioning with the developmental skill set of an adolescent and sometimes even in a toddleresque manner. This disease drives the addict to focus exclusively on getting their own physical and emotional wants and needs met with little care as to how their behavior is affecting others (e.g. spending money earmarked for food or rent on drugs or leaving their children unattended because they are high and passed out). Initially this process is slow and subtle, however, as the disease progresses for the addict, so increases the level of enabling by families and friends of the active addict. As the disease progresses, the source of the addiction (opiates, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc.) demand more of the addict’s body, mind and spirit. And it has been my experience that at a near equal level, a parallel disease of codependent enabling occurs that unwittingly leads both the addict and his/her family into a downward spiral. What starts out for the family member as stepping-in to lend a hand to help the one they love can become codependent enabling just as the controlled and prescribed use of opiates to treat pain post-surgery can evolve into an active opiate addiction. On some level, I believe that we all start out blissfully unaware and naively hoodwinked by the dastardly hazards that await us when facing the disease of addiction.

Please join me in sharing your experiences, strength and hope. What we know about the progression of active addiction and codependent enabling can serve to inform us about how to better prevent, treat and support recovery. I hope that you will join me in this journey to share information and provide tools of recovery. #treatfamiliestoo, #opiodcrisis, #karie_batzler

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    Karie Batzler

    Written by

    Family Therapist, dynamic speaker and storyteller, passionate about advocating for families, Life Coach, proud mom of 4, married longer than dirt.

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