The 2021 Rod Stryker Scandal: A Call for Restorative Justice

Edited 9/25

A few small updates have been made after conversations with a Level 3 ParaYoga teacher, an Ethics Committee member and Stryker’s ex-wife in response to this piece.

TLDR: Summary

Part I is a timeline of events from August 6-September 23 reporting abuse of power by Yogarupa Rod Stryker for coercion and sexual misconduct with a 29-year-old student. It also reveals abuses like public humiliation of students, manipulation tactics, character assassination of former members, using students for unpaid labor, and silencing of victims.

Part II focuses on Restorative Justice and Community Care. Women must decide what happens for Rod Stryker, because women are the majority of ParaYoga’s enrollment. If they want healing justice, they should listen to the voices of the 29-year old, those relinquishing their certifications, the departing ethics committee members, and those who have previously resigned from ParaYoga. A limitation is that theses ex-members may not be talking much. Members remain silent for a number of reasons. Listening to and knowing how to support those harmed is essential to shifting a culture from “damage control” to one of healing and Restorative Justice.

PART I: A TWO-MONTH TIMELINE OF EVENTS

August 6, 2021

A ParaYoga teacher informed two members of the ParaYoga Ethics Committee that an allegation of sexual misconduct by master yoga teacher, Yogarupa Rod Stryker had gone public in Bali.

The information leaked by The Practice Bali. Members of the community who witnessed the relationship between 63-year-old Stryker and the 29-year-old student in Bali asked her for transparency.

August 11, 2021

Natalie Childs sent a letter to those in the Bali training events, July 2018 and August 2019, about what happened between her and Yogarupa Rod Stryker.

August 12, 2021

Childs sent a text message to Stryker apologizing that the story got leaked and that she did not initiate the events on August 6th. (It did not apologize for disclosing what happened between them afterward.)

9/23/21: Childs reports sending that text. She felt conflicted about exposing Stryker because she had such deep spiritual experiences in the classroom with him. She said, “he was the closest thing to God” she had ever known.

August 13, 2021

Childs met with the ParaYoga Ethics Committee. She maintained her story, but was too shameful and confused to undergo a formal grievance process.

August 15, 2021

Stryker sent a letter of apology to the ParaYoga community (and his wife and children) for an act of sexual misconduct with a student in 2019, claiming that the relationship was consensual.

August 18, 2021

The PDF file of Child’s letter gets posted in the ParaYogi’s Facebook group. The group noted coercion, (not consent as Stryker had claimed). It was promptly removed from the Facebook group page by request of Stryker’s ex-wife. — The community started posting concerns about silencing. Then, conversations in the group started to reveal other forms of abuse of power by Stryker.

September 1, 2021

The only male Level 3 Certified ParaYoga teacher relinquishes his certification.

September 6, 2021

The article, What is Abuse of Power in Yoga? Examining Harm and Healing in Yoga Communities, is published and discusses the public humiliation of students:

The group dynamic is to hang their heads down and bow to the “lesson,” while the person mistreated may feel immobilized with guilt or shame.

A comment from the ParaYogis Facebook group later that day:

[Reading that] was like realizing something that had been buried in me for years was a true experience -immobilized…There are forms of abusing students other than sexual and the resulting feelings are valid. I feel so validated.

Six others reported the same experience.

Over the next few weeks…

Stryker invited 40 of his most loyal and influential students to meet privately with him in groups of four. He also initiated several private conversations. — Members posted concerns in the Facebook group that this was an attempt to influence individuals and control the narrative.

September 18, 2021

After a month of negotiations the Para Yoga Ethics Committee, (six unpaid volunteers and long time students of Stryker’s), released the “terms of repair” that Stryker would agree to after admitting to sexual misconduct.

The agreement did not include any reparations to 29-year-old, Natalie Childs. It did include a new mandatory training in ethics for all previously certified teachers (mostly middle aged women). Also noted, Stryker will take a 3-month “leave” from teaching during which he will host a retreat in Costa Rica.

Two of the committee members resigned from the organization during the negotiation process.

September 19, 2021

Five, Level 3 Certified ParaYoga Teachers, publicly announced their resignations. Four renounced all affiliation with Rod Stryker and ParaYoga. One of them will stay on the Ethics Committee temporarily. The five women released a statement together in the Facebook group:

…[Our meeting with Rod] made obvious his long-term pattern of lies and blame shifting. Further, it exposed the limitations and obstacles that any attempt to reorganize yoga will encounter… we cannot continue to support or share leadership with such a teacher.

The resigning Certified ParaYoga teachers have each invested 15–25 years of study and tens of thousands of dollars in ParaYoga events with Stryker.

Important ParaYoga History…

This is the third time senior teachers of ParaYoga have defected from the organization…The complete first set of certified yoga teachers withdrew between 2004–2009. Another set of senior teachers resigned between 2016–2019. All seven were women.

September 21, 2021

Sources report that Stryker told at least one of the small groups that he met with that Childs had apologized to him for writing “mistruths’’ and that she was “manipulated” into writing her statement, (reference August 12 above).

September 22, 2021

I, and at least one outspoken victim of Stryker’s overt defaming, are blocked from all ParaYoga Facebook Groups. Another member claiming to have been publicly defamed by Stryker, spoke out about the blockings and was also immediately blocked from the group.

Sept 23, 2021

The ParaYogi’s Facebook group is archived until further notice.

How will this story end?

Will damage control alone keep ParaYoga in business?
Will restorative justice prevail?
— Women must decide.

PART II: A CALL FOR RESTORATIVE JUSTICE

Women Must Choose the Path Forward

There are no legal regulations or governing organizations in the yoga industry like there are in academia or the medical and mental health fields. So, yoga teachers and organizations must govern themselves and each other.

Women must choose what happens next for Yogarupa Rod Stryker and ParaYoga because the majority of his studentship is women. Also, because patriarchal abuse of power harms women most.

For ParaYoga to heal, members must shift the organizational culture from damage control to restorative justice:

• Damage Control focuses efforts to offset or minimize damage to reputation, credibility or public image caused by a controversial act.
• Restorative Justice focuses on repairing damage and restoring relationships.

For restorative justice to be possible for ParaYoga, the voices of those speaking out must be listened to and responded to with genuine care.

First, listen to Natalie Childs. — What would accountability and acceptable reparations look like to her? What hasn’t it looked like? [NOTE: this does NOT mean contact her. It means, listen to what she has already publicly said.]

Listen to all the Level 1, 2 and 3 ParaYoga Certified Teachers who have just relinquished their certifications:

• What do they think the Ethics Committee Agreement should have said?
• Would they have stayed affiliated if it said something different?
• Could they have kept their hard-earned and expensive certificates of educational achievement if the leader of the organization was more ethical?

Those who resigned from the Ethics Committee were clearly not satisfied with the level of accountability Stryker would accept. What would justice have looked like to them if they had any power to enforce it?

What do those who have previously defected from Rod Stryker and ParaYoga have to say? Why do those closest to the “top” keep leaving?

Healing justice begins with supporting the members of a community who are willing to speak up about the harming they have either endured or witnessed.

Those closest to, or directly harmed by a leader know things others need to know to make informed choices. Members must listen to those who are willing to speak. The song of the band closest to the leader is the song of Truth.

…But what if the band is silent?

Why Members Stay Silent

Leaving a traditional patriarchal spiritual organization is complicated and much harder than it sounds. People connect deeply when breathing, moving, chanting, processing trauma, dreaming and meditating together. Members spend years, even decades with a teacher and community, often traveling to events together like one big sacred family.

Members are deeply invested in the teacher and system of yoga. They invest time and money. They invest their bodies and minds into the experience of the specific spiritual practices. They invest in relationships with each other. They also invest their identity in the leader’s language system, lineage and/or brand. Skillful manipulators have ways of confusing, controlling and silencing those most invested.

There are several reasons why victims of a spiritual leader’s abuse of power might cause them to leave quietly. Often the reasons are layered…

Here are some to consider:

1. Fear of defamation — The member has heard the leader assassinate the character of other students who have left.
2. Self-doubt — The leader has made the student believe that the real problem lies with them. So they don’t talk about why they left.
3. Professional repercussions — The person has invested years promoting the brand to their own students and does not want to negatively impact their own reputation, community or livelihood.
4. #JustMe — The member believes their reason for leaving is unique to them. It’s their own “personal” issue or complicated relationship with the leader. No one else’s.
5. Fear of ostracization — The student sees others in the community are still being manipulated and fears damaging relationships with their friends, colleagues and peers.
6. Shame — The member finally recognizes that they’ve been participating with something really dysfunctional and feels too ashamed to speak.
7. Fear of loss — The student can’t separate the teacher from the teachings, and is afraid of losing connection to the practice, lineage, or spiritual energy.
8. Codependency — The member still feels deeply for the leader and believes that the leader still loves them — even if they know they can’t stay in the unhealthy dynamic.
9. Fatigue/Burnout — After years of navigating exhausting dynamics, one may just want to cleanse themselves of anything to do with the leader or the organization. They don’t want to invest any more energy, not even to shout for justice. They just want to move on.

How to Help Those Harmed

Healing is possible for those harmed in power dynamics with a spiritual teacher. Sharing and witnessing each other’s stories, acknowledging each emotion and sensation experienced, and seeking private professional therapy can stabilize those in need of help.

Though, nothing supports restorative justice and collective healing more than holding an offender accountable for the harm they have caused, and taking action to prevent them from doing further harm.

Here are other ways to support those harmed by the abuse of power by Yogarupa Rod Stryker or another spiritual leader:

1. Show empathy and respect to those who speak up.
2. Have empathy and respect for those who remain quiet.
3. Give them privacy and space to process.
4. Demonstrate public support. Showing up matters.
5. Listen to their needs. Join them in taking actions which lead to accountability of the leader if possible.
6. Give them grace and space to get loud or emotional.
7. Be patient if they get stuck or struggle.
8. Help them connect with support resources.
9. Celebrate with them as they heal individually and collectively.

Support Resources

• In September 2021, an independent, non-hierarchical group formed to create space for those needing to process painful experiences with a spiritual teacher or community. Anyone needing a strictly empathetic space to be heard can join the confidential interest list.
• Internal Family Systems therapy and EMDR treatment are recommended for personal healing work. (Links are to finding a clinician).
• International Cultic Studies Association resources may also be useful to some people.

*Natalie Childs was interviewed for this piece, and requested to be named. Other sources are protected by confidentiality.

*Reference, KaraLeah: Power Abuse of a student-teacher relationship: Is it a strike-out for Rod Stryker?

Karina Ayn Mirsky is a best selling author and the founder of Sangha Yoga Institute and Yoga Mindset Coaching (YMC). She has a Bachelor’s in Business Management and a Master’s in East/West Psychology. Karina has taught yoga since 1998 and been in private practice since 2009 specializing in internal systems therapy. She facilitates yoga and YMC trainings, retreats, and collective healing programs. Karina is committed to restorative justice, equity and anti-racism work in the yoga industry. She withdrew from ParaYoga in 2009 but remained certified until 2021.