Dear Self, This Is What I Think of Your Imposter Syndrome…
When I was starting my career in marketing/communications at the ripe old age of 24, I was as snooty as they come.
I knew what I was doing (even though I’d never done it before). I was going to be damn good at it too (despite having no experience). And I could do no wrong (more on that later).
So why was I so cocky? OK, let’s see:
I graduated high school one year early, got accepted to all university science programs I applied to, and received an entrance scholarship (1). CHECK.
I completed my Bachelor of Science degree with a major in biology (2). CHECK.
I was accepted to all the PR and corporate communications post-grad programs and co-ops (3). CHECK.
I secured an internship at one of the top PR firms in LA (Beverly Hills, 90210, actually *hair flip*). CHECK.
I invited MYSELF to movie premieres, surrounded by celebrities, without actually being officially invited. CHECK.
And I hob-knobbed with celebrities like it was no. big. deal. CHECK. CHECK.
Chutzpah, much? (4)
Fast forward 16 years into my career. I’ve honed my craft, I’ve paid my dues, I’ve earned my chops.
Yet, now. NOW. After 16 years, this supposed imposter syndrome kicks in. Why?
*TIME OUT*
Although everyone refers to this as “imposter syndrome,” leadership coach Tanya Geislerproposes it’s a complex, not a syndrome. A syndrome implies a clinical diagnosis, whereas a complex is more about ideas that are emotionally significant to us.
Sounds about right. So, for the purposes of this article, let’s refer to it as a complex.
For those who might not know what imposter complex (a.k.a. imposter syndrome) is, it’s exactly what it sounds like. You feel like an imposter — a fraud, a fake, a phony, à la Sandy-calling-out-Danny-in-Grease (5). Despite having the credentials, the experience, and the know-how, you still somehow ‘feel’ like someone (a client, perhaps) is going to figure you out as said fraud.
*TIME IN*
Where were we? Oh yes. Imposter complex crept in 16 years into my career. Got it…
By all accounts, I’m great at my job. I received awards galore when I was a corporate marketer. Now that I’m freelance, I’ve built a solid business for myself without a safety net to fall back on, and my bank account says I’m doing pretty good (sic), so I must be.
As my boyfriend puts it, most employees rely heavily on their coworkers to look good when they can’t hack it themselves. But when you go into business for yourself, without a team to work with, it’s all about you and your abilities. It’s ride or die, baby. You either swim or you sink.
Welp, I’m here to tell you that I’m swimming, folks. I have been for (going on) four years. And all I can say is: the water is damn fine, come on in!
So why bring up imposter complex at all? Because we all experience it, to some degree.
Of all the professionals and experts and entrepreneurs I’ve talked to over my career, most of them admit to having imposter complex to varying degrees. No matter how successful they appear to us, deep down, on the inside, in the privacy of their home, behind closed doors, their imposter complex creeps up. Like that damn cowlick that just won’t stand down no matter your efforts and industrial-level gel.
Don’t believe me? Steve Nash: retired NBA player, eight-time NBA All-Star, seven-time All-NBA selection, two-time NBA MVP (and runner-up for his third). Steve Nash who ranked in the NBA history as one of the best in the league for three-point shooting, total assists, and free-throws. Steve Nash who played a whopping 19-seasons in the NBA (the longest players clocked in at 20 seasons in comparison).
That Steve Nash, the little Canadian who could (6), also suffered from imposter complex.
In the documentary about his career, aptly titled Nash, Olympic teammate Pete Guarasci remembers:
“Steve actually said to me that he feels like the most insecure basketball player until warm-up starts. So when he’s going into a game, he’s not sure what he’s capable of. But then once he warms-up and he gets a few shots up, he’s like ‘Kay, this is how I play!’”
Nash has played with and against some indomitable pros. In his words:
“It still took me time to build up my confidence that I was as good as anybody else.”
Really, Nash? Really?
← that one time I met Nash at an event I organized for the 2008 MLS All-Stars
The difference between them and us, however, is that they don’t let it get in their way of accomplishing great things. They don’t let it get in the way of saying yes (or hell yes) to opportunities, because what would be the point?
Imposter complex has a negative relationship with success. That is to say, the greater your success, the more imposter complex creeps up on you, and the greater its impact on your mindset. #TrueStory
I’ve been big into analogies lately. Like, YUGE. And this one came to me as I was trying to explain to someone that having imposter complex is OK, as long as you don’t let it manage you. You have to manage it.
Here is my only-slightly-edited, and incredibly long run-on sentence analogy:
It’s like when you wanna look good on a first date (7) so you order the ‘salad’ and then go home and schtuff your face full of chocolate-fucking-cake and you didn’t even use a fork or spoon, just your hands so now there’s icing all over your forearm and forehead and nose and cheeks but you give zero fucks because you had the best first date and he’s already texted to say he had a fabulous time and wants to see you again ASAP but you haven’t responded yet because the cake is all over both your hands and you just smile like a crazy person and then you shove more fucking cake in your mouth because YESSSS and you keep up this stupid ridiculous charade for the next few dates because you want him to be smitten with the perfect image of you but you’re not perfect and who cares but he’s sooooo cute and just in case you always shave your legs and wear those sexy underroos because you never know what might happen and if it doesn’t work out you’ll just have more cake afterwards. Imposter complex is like that. So, keep it to yourself and keep ordering the damn salad until you’re at home alone with the cake.
In conclusion, if you feel imposter complex creeping in or if you just can’t get rid of it, it’s probably OK. Just don’t let imposter complex paralyze you into inaction, because that’s notOK.
And hey, moving forward let’s refer to imposter complex as IC (pronounced ‘ICK’). Because frankly, ick is what it is. Cool? Cool!
If you have any tips, tricks, or hacks to either overcome or push imposter complex aside, share them so we can all get better at giving IC the finger.
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FOOTNOTES
(1) It was only a one-time $500 entrance scholarship from my third-choice school.
(2) I’m gonna go ahead and ignore the failures up until this point, like never taking the MCATs or applying to medical schools as I’d always dreamed because my grades weren’t up to snuff so I was too afraid of the inevitable failure.
(3) Actually, I was placed on the waitlist to my first-choice, and ended up at my third-choice school.
(4) Now you know why I call myself the copywriter with chutzpah
(5) Where my Pink Ladies at?
(6) Little because by basketball standards, a 6’3” player is short — not the shortest, but you get the idea.
(7) To be clear, I’m not condoning ordering a salad on first dates in order to make him/her think you’re awesome, but we’ve all heard the stories, so the analogy works, OK?