Want to Defeat Over-thinking? Here’s something to get you Started.
Over-thinking; The Thief of Joy and Contentment.
Human beings are the only part of the creation that capitalizes on the thought process. We think of a thing over and over again, sleep on it, and maybe drink to it before coming up with the most convenient decision.
However, the rest of the species act on impulses. Take an example of a grizzly bear. It will destroy everything around it if it feels that its offspring is under any kind of threat.
When faced with a similar scenario, a human’s best instinct would be to run — probably because most of us are not fighters.
While we are a thoughtful species, thinking is only helpful up-to a certain extent. Thoughts like what to wear for that end-of-year office party are healthy because they help you come up with the best outfit.
Nonetheless, if you think about it too much, then you cease being in control of the situation courtesy of the indecisiveness. For instance, a man is capable of choosing what to wear in under 5 minutes. A woman, on the other hand, should be able to settle on the right mix of her attire in about 30 minutes 😉.
Over-thinking is a conundrum that you need to step away from…
Over-thinking can be on every single aspect of the human life regardless of how insignificant it may appear at face value.
The tragedy in doing it is that we are constantly using the thought process to perform tasks, plan events, and even passively when we are seemingly relaxing. Thus, no one ever knows that they are over-thinking until they get to a place where they experience the full effects of the vice.
I will state it plainly that over-thinking is an addiction that most of us have, but fail to consciously kick it out of their life. It also has its adverse effects just like substance and alcohol abuse; only that they cannot be directly attributed to overthinking.
In fact, over-thinking may exacerbate one’s indulgence in drugs because it works in reverse when we try to look for solutions for our predicaments.
A normally functioning individual will find the solution to the problem in the shortest period possible. However, instead of over-thinkers finding the solution, the thought process always presents a chain of difficult situations that lead to indecisiveness, and subsequently, a tonne of frustrations.
Ultimately, there are so many things that could go wrong when we over-think.
However, I want to concentrate on the fact that it steals one’s joy and contentment, thereby, becoming a plethora of bad thoughts, attitudes, and decisions.
Peggy Nolan, in her article 10 Ways Over-thinking Destroys your Happiness lists the most common effects of the vice. They include; fabrication of frightening “what if” stories, second guessing and self-doubt, time wastage when resuscitating problems and creating other problems, robbing off one’s energy, inhibiting a person’s problem-solving capabilities, and increased instances of negative emotions such as anger, frustration, jealousy, fear, confusion, indecision, and resentment.
None of the effects of over-thinking promotes to joy and contentment whatsoever.
Note that I am using joy and not happiness. While both terms are at times used interchangeably, they are different. Happiness alludes to a feeling or emotion that is temporary in relation to the activity we are engaging in. Joy, on the other hand, is an attitude that encapsulates happiness in it and lasts longer than the momental thrill of a happy moment — this is a topic for another day.
So, over-thinking is always within our mind, but is there a way to cast it out to oblivion?
The answer is yes. If we make deliberate and conscious actions towards eliminating over-thinking, we will definitely win it over. I don’t want to get theoretical about this discussion but I have 3 strong points that can help us top over-thinking and live quality lives.
1. Live in the Present
Over-thinking is an oscillation between the past and the future. We ask ourselves question like;
- What did I do?
- How could I have done it better?
- What will people think about me?
- What if I lose my job?
- What if I can’t pay the mortgage?
In truth, we do not need to carry such baggage.
It is way easier to live in the present by figuring out that whatever happened was left in the past and we got to do what needs to be done at the present.
You messed up yesterday? correct it now in the best way possible.
You hit a target yesterday? Celebrate now! Do not think about next month’s KPIs. At least not yet. Learn to revel in the moment, and that way, negative thoughts that come with over-thinking will remain at bay.
2. Become Solution Oriented
The issue with over-thinking is that the process produces more problems than answers. Eventually, it creates a vicious cycle of problems that overwhelm us and drive us into stressful life episodes that should not be part of us. It is important that we organize our thoughts systematically in such a way that we train our mind to deal with a situation at a time.
For instance, if you have bills that are due in a week, but you have a medical emergency that requires you to use the same money you had set aside for the bills, thinking of the two situations simultaneously can be catastrophic.
The prudent action is to sort the medical bill and put the problem behind you, and then sort out the issue with the bill. This way you have a chance to solve the two problems without over-thinking either.
In my native language we have a saying that “Tomorrow cries for itself” meaning that tomorrow is self-sustaining. Therefore, we should handle the situations in our lives in terms of urgency, and definitely, defeat this monster called over-thinking.
3. Open up your Mind to Possibilities
Part of the problem with over-thinking is that it delves on the negative outcomes of a situation. The brain is usually conditioned to have only one outcome. Negativity.
Opening up your brain to more possibilities through creative thinking can help us get out of all the grim negativity attached to over-thinking.
Some time back, a friend was battling depression, and went to see a psychiatrist. The major factor for his stress was his unsupportive family that had labelled him the black sheep of the family for the longest time. As a result, he had to continuously try to validate himself and prove that he was worth to belong to the family. The pain in the ass was the first born who normally called the shots.
When the psychiatrist listened to the story, he looked him in the eye and asked,
“Have you tried killing him?”
My pal thought he heard him wrong.
“Who?”
“Your brother, he contributes the largest share in your travails”
At this point, my friend’s mouth remained wide open until the psychiatrist smiled at him.
This question was not aimed at polarizing my friend but showing him that there were numerous solutions to his predicament.
His mind was formatted to believe that he had to work extra hard to earn the family’s pat on the back, but that was not the only way out. Fast forward, the guy is in a much better place and even laughs at the ‘sticky wicket’ over-thinking had put him in a while back.
And so y’all over-thinkers, it time to switch sides.
