Yes, You Can Have it All

#spoiledaf: is this you? The good news is, you are totally entitled.

As I pore through my Facebook news feed, I see a lot of people who don’t seem very “real” to me. Of course, they only share the best things that they see, eat and experience. After all, Facebook is everybody’s pride arena. And I have nothing against this, really. In fact, sometimes I am guilty of it as well…just not to the point of really pretending to be someone I’m not just to impress people. On Facebook, I curse, I give out my opinions unapologetically, and most of all, I don’t even share half of life’s best moments there. But this article is not about that. This article is about how all this show off fad started and what its roots are.

I realized that people overshare (read: boast) on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram best because we feel a lot of pressure “keeping up”. See half of your friends go around the world? Visit that new overpriced restaurant that just opened? Get his ultra expensive camera that he ordered online? We just keep getting updates of people “upgrading” their lives and we also feel the need to keep up with them as well. Although this is an outdated human phenomenon, another facet to this is the pressure to “have it all”.

Many people, especially women, are pressure to “have it all”. We are expected to have a good career, to look good, to have a great love life and to be financially secure. Add to that great friendships, nice things, et cetera. It’s like if you don’t do all of these or score high in all arenas, you’re not empowered enough. We always base empowerment on “having it all” and we are always envious of those who seem to juggle everything properly. However, who can do that, really? Who are those who can have everything and still breathe properly? See, we should drop this undue burden and redefine “all”. If we keep on striving and feeling hopeless in our efforts to have it all, then we should set priorities and work towards it.

For example, in the Philippine setting, more and more women find satisfaction in having thriving careers. This leads to the family-rearing and marrying decisions coming later. Foregoing having children also becomes a more common conscious choice. So is living alone. In my circle of friends, most of us have actually moved out of home to live alone and start great careers…and lead good lives at that. Can you say we’re not “ideal”? Can you say they’re not accomplished? I doubt that. For those who have chosen to stay home and/ or marry early, kudos to you girls as well.

You see, how we perceive “all” or “having it all” depends on us. There is no gender, group, generation or wave that can define it for you! What’s important is that you had a choice and you made a decision that paved way for your overall development as an individual.

Moreover, thinking with the “all” mindset gives us the idea that we have to do many things at once, and, at the end of the day, we still become exhausted. Always remember that life can hit you with different predicaments, often in the most inopportune times, so there really is no foolproof way to “have it all”. Just (try to) do what you love to do and be good at it. Then, maybe, you can have it all. And you won’t need Facebook to show people that you did.

What do you think?

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