How to Apologize: A Periodic Reminder

Because so few get it right, here is a periodic reminder on how to properly apologize.

No, saying “sorry” isn’t enough, and being inconvenienced by another’s lack of belief in your remorse isn’t their problem, it’s yours. Also, don’t demand an apology from those who wronged you. It’s petty on your part and gives them false cover with forced insincerity.

When you goofed, do the following;

1. Admit you have done something wrong, and you need to make up for it.

2. Take full responsibility for your actions and sincerely apologize to anyone you have harmed.

3. Apologize with urgency.

4. Tell anyone you have harmed specifically what you did wrong and how you feel about what you did.

5. Recognize that what you did is inconsistent with whom you want to be.

6. Make amends and demonstrate your commitment to not repeat the act by changing your behavior.

Note: They are under no obligation to forgive you. 

This only works if you feel remorseful. You can try to fake it, but lack of sincerity tends to announce itself. Own up and show some self-leadership.


Originally published at Karl Bimshas Consulting.