Free at last

It was you who held me captive. It was you who had me attached to your cruelty, hoping for change, to see more of your sweetness that I so desperately craved for.

I honored my promises because I value them even though you never valued yours. I stood by my words in the church that day, the words that so easily slid off my tongue and into my heart, and even though they just as easily rolled off your tongue they were never meant by you, it was all just for show.

I never listened to any advice, not even from my own mother, because your love was all I knew. I saw your flaws as the thorns on a rose and not for what it truly was, intoxicating poison running deeply in my veins. I couldn’t get rid of you. The thought never even ran through my mind.

I never cheated, even though you confronted me almost daily, going mad, breaking stuff. You did all these cruel things to me even though it was I who should have done these things to you. I never betrayed you in any way, though you probably betrayed me daily.

You stole my freedom… I almost never left the house, I rarely visited family, and my friends had done to me what I was forced to do to them, write them off. I had to quit my job for you. I had to stay away from the parties you were so willingly going without me, you told me so easily you were embarrassed by me. You made me dependant on you in every way possible. You brainwashed me bit by bit.

You stole my love… I was willing to do everything and anything for you. I cared deeply for you and only you. No pets, barely any family, and worst of all no friends, none. No one to talk and interact with except for you.

You stole me… You took bits and bits away of me until there nothing left. You took my true hapiness, hobbies and love for art away from me. You made me hate the things I once loved about me. You made me believe there was no God.

Perhaps these mistakes were all mine and not yours. I allowed you to walk all over me, control, and manipulate me. It was I who lowered my standards, forgot my values, and blindly praised you, followed you in whichever mixture of hell and heaven you wanted to take me.

It was I who was the true fool, for not seeing what you have done to me. Allowing everything without a second thought.

I mourned your tragic death for months on end, but I finally came to realize I should be happy, for now, I am free. You were nothing more than a burden, good riddance.

This chance was granted to me. To start over. To find my own way. To find myself again. To learn how to love. To become a new man.

At last, I am free from your bitter, cold heart. Your ruthless actions. Your betrayal. Your mind games. You are gone and I see now that I couldn’t be more blessed.

At last I am free.

Embrace the glorious mess that you are. This is where I share poems and flash fiction.