Dear Mother

dear mother,

I am now gone from home but not gone forever. You will see me again and when you do I will be in one piece. Healthy, happy and whole. I didn’t get a chance to bring much luggage with me and on the journey down here I thought also not to carry with me feelings of anger and hatred either. It would’ve weighed me down too heavy. I have not left out of spite nor contempt for you and my father but by the call of destiny in the pursuit of the goals and aspirations that I have. What are those goals exactly? It was you who once told me to keep such things to myself until they have manifested. That is advice I intend to take. You will know and the world will know when the seeds that I have planted bear fruit and the results of the work that I have diligently put in over the years becomes apparent. But hear this: I am a poet and an entrepreneur who aspires to great wealth and cultural activism. This is not a fleeting hobby or past time. I am committed to this aim for the length and duration of my natural life and no one can or will stop me. I sell books and t shirts. Hundreds of them. Thousands more to come. You don’t know this but people respect and admire me a great deal. They look up to me as an example of courage and come to me for advice. Even people who are older than me, of different races and from other parts of the country. I’m often asked how my mother must feel about what I’m doing and it brings me sadness to not have an answer to give to that question. You may just see me as your I’ll prepared naive son but I am more than that. A lot more. And it’s time that you know just who is this person you gave birth to. I am a rebel with a cause. My intention is not to bring harm to myself or others but life and uplift. Spiritually and materially. That’s it. That’s all. I’m not going back to school unless they’re paying me to speak. I don’t want to be a doctor a lawyer a nurse a criminal or a bum on the street. And I won’t be. I’m going to be me. The only person I could have ever hoped of being since I was born at 25 weeks old and all I ever wanted from you was to acknowledge and accept the fact that I am different and not going to play pretend as someone or something else to please or impress you or whomever. I knew you didn’t want me to visit the nursing home because you were ashamed that your co workers would talk about you once they found out that I had left college. That hurt my feelings. When you took the 2,000 from me having not told me that you were already back inside of the apartment I lost what little trust I had had for you at the time to begin with. I felt like my compassion was taken advantage of. When you kicked me out of the kitchen on my 21st birthday to smoke a cigarette that hurt my feelings and afterwards watching the way that you verbally abused me and your mother on the day you bought the mattress disgusted me. I was done trying to talk to you from then on. I haven’t spoken more than 10 words to you since then because you never apologized to me or said sorry for anything you’ve done to harm or upset me in the past 21 years. I’m not still mad about those things by now it’s water under the bridge. I realize that if I hold on to bitterness I will become bitter and eventually do onto others the very same things that are the cause of my grief. I don’t want that and I don’t want to be at war with my parents for the rest of my life because there will be harsher battles to come and this is one that I would like to finally put to rest so that we can build a positive relationship and begin to communicate openly and honestly with each other. I don’t know you or your life story and if we’re being honest you don’t really know me either.

That changes now.


Your Son