15 april 2017

I regret us, like i regret jumping off a cliff. Happy for the adventure, but scared of the outcome. The chances… were they worth it? The thoughts going through your mind are hidden from me, never to be revealed.

The never ending circle, the same going round and round. I wish I could make it stop. Make it special. For the same memories fly across my mind, through my body. A tiny reminder and I’m gone. Lost in the sensation of holding you close to me.

Reacting is never good nor bad. It can cloud your mind from reality and change your view. The darkness takes over, making you unsure what really happened. I’m not sure if this lake will ever empty or if it will simply continue running till it slips past its barriers. Floods the whole village. Not seeing it coming. The ups and downs of the mountains. The downhill battle is always worse than uphill. You have reached your goal. Seen the view. Now all that’s left is the way down. Back to earth. Back to common ground. You are no longer taller than every. No longer on top of the world.

The pictures will haunt you, reminding you what you lost, threw away. Poison is running through my veins, erasing you from my memory but increasing your space in my heart. Nothing will tear you out but closure.

The idea of having you close to me, while you’re still far away. The idea that you will come back, when you never really left. I left. I ran away. Scared of something real, scared of something true. I blame you for my mistakes and take it out on myself. I leave but stay close to what we were, or could have been. For who says it is to be over. Who says I can’t turn this around. All the songs tell me to let go. Move on. I know it is true.

Listening to swift music will only let you down, never lift you up. Up on that mountain where you belong. Up near the clouds. Where the world seems more beautiful, more vivid, more alive. The wind touches my skin, allowing my smile to appear. To think of happy times once again. Think of better times ahead.

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