Everybody is writing a book, so why shouldn’t I?
Oh hello there. So lately I’ve been thinking. I finished the books of Lena Durhams , Mindy Kaling and obviously the one and only Ellen Degeneres. But everytime I read them, it gives me a crazy craving, a sort of obsession, to write my own one. Well you’re not famous OR interesting Karoline? Yeah you might be right about that. But does it always have to follow the same pathern. Aren’t we past that yet?
I believe that I have something special to bring to the table, and people always listen intensely when I talk (just ask my cute teddybear!). Here are some reasons why YOU should keep reading, when I post chapters of this book (online lol) and help me get a book deal one day (could you imagine! Gosh I already have my celebration planned out. We’ll start with some wine (a bottle each, you’re invited obviously), a little spice girls, then off to karaoke! then a super gay club cuz that’s where I learn all my groovy dance-moves, then to McD to get fries (which, who are we kidding, is the best part of the night) and then do it all again the next day!) Where was I? Oh yeah, reasons for you to continue. I promise I have a lot of good ones. One sec I need some chocolate milk to think straight… I’m back. That was a smart trick I learned in film school called suspense. I didn’t really get chocolate milk, I just wrote that, so you were intrigued to keep reading a nervous… Hmm nervous might not be the right word. So you were excited to read my reasons. So without further ado (that should be spelled adu, silly english language) here we go!:
- First off, I am cute and it seems like cute people get to do whatever they want in life. I want that too!
- I am danish. Oh yeah foreign people are just more interesting and excotic. I can tell you all about them vikings and Mads Mikkelsen. Danish means I come from a country in Europe called Denmark, for all my American readers out there. Denmark is part of Scandinavia and we drink a lot. I guess that’s really all I have to say about Denmark. But you can tell this will be funny because I basically just told you that I will be drunk the entire time I am writing this. Read between the lines you know…
- I have crazy dreams (not when I’m sleeping, cuz everybody hates those kind). No no, I mean huge dreams and ambitions about my life and it will be funny to listen to my positive attitude and then watch it all fall to the ground and me working in a supermarket for the rest of my life.
- I see the world differently... And so can you if you try LSD! Hit me up at 647–706–1956… ;)
- I can speak to objects and was born a unicorn. This might not be entirely true, but wouldn’t that be cool? And I do currently have pink, blue and purple hair, so I am pretty close to looking like a unicorn. I also have a long horn sticking out of my forehead? Maybe I should call a doctor (no more LSD for you Karoline).
- I talk a lot to myself. Just wanted to mention that, so you know what you are getting into.
- I will teach you stuff you didn’t even know you wanted to know. I am extremely intelligent, as you can tell by my use of the word intelligent, not smart. Smart cookie. Cookies… grocery market… market.. food… I should eat breakfast!
Okay kids, this was fun, we should do it again sometime. How about same place, same time tomorrow. I just can’t get the thought of breakfast out of my head, so I’m having a hard time concentrating on you. It’s not you, it’s me.
So I guess I’ll see you. Not in a scary, I know where you live kinda thing. But I do... and I will haunt you if you do not continue reading tomorrow. Haha I’m kidding. Kinda… Bye!