Dead or Alive
I sometimes feel that I should isolate myself somewhere... not around the place I live .. but somewhere where I’ve never been to, something I can’t imagine..
It’s not only darkness that I admire.. I want to teach myself some values, a place where I don’t have to be responsible.. a place where just I reside.. or my soul? I want to start making my new self.. Everytime I break.. after my every internal death.. I wish I could remake a stronger me.. and start a whole new world where there are no pity' for my past... where.. just I grow or bloom like a rose petal just watching the sunrays fall over it... but I want that honey bee to aways be there... and I want to belong to that bee only... forever..I regret for the winters... as I couldn’t survive them... I wish there were no winters in our life and soul.. I wish we were never cold .. forever bright... bright enough to glare the whole world *sigh* yes I’m afraid of the human world where I came to exist, I fear moving on, and I fear if the flower will bloom ever again.. I sometimes think the sand, the dust, the gust, are overwhelmingly strong...and I can’t Stand them..idk, what’s with me.. I just don’t want that bee to go away... I forever wants to be in her garden... I don’t want to be a weed in her farm...no I don’t want that to happen... even if there are winters...I may not be blooming... but I’m still Standing... weather may be harsh.. but I don’t want you to get affected by it... no more colds ... winters go away...
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