Rage
“Good morning Miss Alli! It’s time for breakfast!”, the smiling attendant pushed the curtains back and sunshine flooded the room. Alli groaned and burrowed further under her blankets. “C’mon Miss Alli, it’s almost 9AM, you know you gots to take your medicine on time!”, the attendant started unfurling the blankets one at a time.
“Go away Terri! I don’t feel like getting up”, Alli mumbled the last part. She knew it was no use. Terri was always persistent yet kind with Alli and always managed to get her up and ready just in time for her 10AM appointment with Dr. Hassan. Terri would bring her a tray of breakfast; a soft boiled egg, a banana, some oj, some fruits along with her medicine. No utensils, not even plastic ones were allowed to be included in the trays. At the Greenfield Psychiatric Center, Unit 11 was for Trauma Victims, where Alli has resided for the last two months, nothing she could potentially harm herself physically with was ever allowed. But her thoughts were always there, swirling around.
After breakfast, Terri would accompany Alli to the bathroom just outside her room. She wasn’t allowed to go to the bathroom without someone accompanying her at all times and Alli found this rule ridiculous, much like most of the rules in this unit. She had looked around and there was nothing in the bathroom that she could remotely do anything with anyway. No mirror she could break, no window she could jump out of, no bathtub she could drown herself in. Not that these thoughts occurred at the forefront of her mind anymore, the strong antidepressants they put her on kept a steady hold on her brain. It was only in her dreams Alli could feel herself floating far far away like she had once in her life before Greenfield.
Dr. Hassan would come in every morning and ask Alli in his mild, genial manner how she was feeling that day or what she felt like talking about that day. Alli would mumble something mundane like the ice cream she’s been craving or how her evening walk with Terri went now that she had permission for half an hour walks outside in the garden. Dr. Hassan would scribble some notes on his yellow pad, take off his eyeglasses to polish them while seeming to be in deep thought and then end the session by saying something Alli was supposed to find deep and meaningful. Today he imparted this gem, “Sometimes you have to look through the rain to see the rainbow, Miss Turner”. Alli never knew what to say to these but she would always politely reply, “Thank you Dr. Hassan”.
Before Greenfield…
Alli
“Alli! I’m so jealous of how long your hair is getting!”, Jess, Alli’s roommate was looking down from the top of the bunkbed at where she stood in front of the mirror, towel drying her long, brown hair. Alli giggled shyly at the compliment, self-consciously touching her hair and picking up a strand to examine it herself. “You think so? I’ve been meaning to cut it actually…”
“No, absolutely don’t! Are you crazy?” Jess jumped down from the bunk bed, throwing off her pajamas and squeezing into an old pair of ripped jeans. “I love your hair like that”, she winked.
Jess had a tom boy-ish style about her with short black hair cut in an edgy way that reminded Alli of Ruby Rose, the sexy lesbian from that hit show she couldn’t quite remember the name of. Jess’s athletic figure and zero-fucks-given attitude complemented her style well. There was something about her that Alli found really attractive even though she had never admitted this to anyone. In turn, Jess was protective of her, being a second year, she knew her way around campus and had figuratively and literally held Alli’s hand through the confusing first few months as she got acclimated to the big beautiful campus. It felt so easy with Jess there to guide her; walking her to classes, showing her around the small college town surrounded by beautiful beaches, taking her to the parties around campus.
It was everything Alli had hoped for when planning her escape from home, from her overbearing mother and overly involved father. They had their reasons for being this way but she had felt suffocated under their watchful gaze, their careful coordination and planning of her life. After the death of her older brother, the idyllic small town they lived in had become a living, breathing cage for Alli. Her parents had become afraid of losing her too…
“Whatcha doin later today?”, Jess asked as she threw on a black tank over her black sports bra. Her tanned muscular arms flexed with each movement and Alli had to force herself to look away. “Nothing much”, she distracted herself with the contents of her purse, “My classes end at 5 today, did you wanna do something?”
“Yeah, there’s a hidden beach a few miles from here I’ve been wanting to show you. My 7pm got cancelled today so thought we could go if you’re up for it.”
“Yeah totally, I’ll pack my bathing suit”, Alli flashed a brilliant smile at Jess.
“Sweet, see ya later babe”, Jess picked up her backpack and brushed past her, stopping for a moment to give her a quick peck on the forehead.
Jess
A sly smirk played across her lips as Alli habitually started fixing her makeup as soon as she got into the car. Noticing this she quickly put the vanity mirror up, “Sorry, just fixing myself up for any impromptu photo ops”.
“No, don’t be sorry”, Jess looked at her for a full second to take all of it in, the slender brunette with the big brown eyes she had fallen in love with, now sitting in the passenger side of her silver Audi A3, her hair slightly disheveled in the breeze as she rummaged in her makeup bag, apologizing for being herself. She had been attracted by the beautiful face but had stayed for the genuinely kind and humble aura that emanated from Alli at all times. In a well endowed private university like theirs’, there was no shortage of rich and pretty girls looking for a fling or a one-night experiment with Jess and Jess had entertained many of these. But all of that had fallen away as she had started spending more and more time with Alli. She had held herself back knowing Alli was inexperienced and for all she knew, straight. She didn’t want to push anything onto her yet here they were, the tension between them tense as they had both grown more and more attracted and closer to each other with each passing day. Jess sped down the highway at 90mph, one arm on the wheel, the other casually resting on the open window sill. Time was running out, to catch the sunset at the hidden cove.
Kevin
Kevin was late for bio class yet again, he cursed at himself as he looked at his alarm clock, now permanently on snooze.
“Fuck!”, he jumped out of bed, almost tripping over the petite naked body lying next to him. The sudden movement woke the sleeping body out of the beer induced coma they had indulged in the night before. She looked over and got an eyeful of a flustered half naked Kevin, running around trying to find a clean shirt amongst the dirty mess on the floor. She stretched leisurely, mainly because she didn’t have a class to attend but mainly for Kevin’s benefit. Now he was distracted again, his tall sculpted body frozen with a half erection as he stood across the room, having finally found a clean shirt but now confused by the mismatched signals his body and mind were sending him. He decided to listen to his body.
“Fuck babe, you look so hot when you wake up”, Kevin and little Kevin were both fully awake now as well. He crossed the length of the master bedroom quickly and charged towards the doe eyed brunette, pinning her down as she giggled in excitement. It’s always fun for her to win the battle for attention. She reached into his briefs and grabbed his sizable cock out as he spread her legs, the pain felt sharp and sweet since she had only recently lost her virginity to him but he filled her up, in more ways than one. The pleasure spread to every inch of her body as they moved rhythmically, she grabbed hold of his back with both hands as he pushed her legs up and thrusted harder, “Babe can I come inside you?”
“No…stop babe”, Alli moaned in pleasure.
“C’mon babe, you know I like coming inside you”, he thrusted harder as Alli struggled trivially under his bulky frame, “You know you like it”. At the peak of climax he was impossible to stop so she stopped struggling and let him have his way. As he slumped on top of her, she made a mental note to get on birth control this week.
Alli
Alli snuck back into her dorm room after Kevin dropped her off, cursing under his breath for missing bio class again. She knew it was partially her fault and she wondered whether making him miss it was worth it this time. He hadn’t listened to her again and she felt confused. They had talked about how she wasn’t on birth control and he had refused to wear condoms. Alli didn’t feel like bringing it up again, as a freshmen dating one of the hottest guys who was the top brother at the most popular frat in college, she felt privileged in her standing.
Alli tiptoed into the dark room, Jess had a habit of sleeping in and it seemed she was still asleep. Alli grabbed a towel and ran into the bathroom. She felt disgusted now with Kevin’s scent all over her. She stepped into the hot shower, washing off the previous night’s sins and betrayals.