Anger Management
According to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist with specialised knowledge in the study of anger, anger is “an emotional state that ranges in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage.” Like other emotions, anger is accompanied by physiological and metabolic changes. Your heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of the hormones noradrenaline and adrenaline, for example, all increase when you’re upset.
Anger can be brought on by both internal and external events. Your rage could be brought on by fear or internal turmoil, or it might be focused at a particular person or circumstance. Anger can also be sparked by memories of upsetting or tragic events.
Expressing Anger
The automatic, natural way that anger is expressed is by using violence in response. We can fight and defend ourselves when we are assaulted thanks to the intense, frequently aggressive feelings and behaviour that are sparked by anger. Rage is a threat-related adaptive and normal response. So, a certain amount of wrath is necessary for our survival.
However, laws, societal norms, and common sense place restrictions on how far our wrath can take us. We are unable to physically lash out at every person or thing that irritates or frustrates us as a result.
People have a variety of conscious and unconscious techniques to manage their anger. The three major strategies are relax, express, and suppress. The best method to deal with rage is to express it with assurance and without violence. You must learn how to state your demands and how to abide by them without harming other people if you want to achieve this. Being firm without being pushy or demanding is a must for respecting both yourself and other people.
Anger can be controlled before being transformed or channelled. This occurs when you restrain your rage, push it out of your thoughts, and concentrate on the good. It is necessary to control or repress your anger in order to channel it towards acts that would be more advantageous. Your wrath may start to turn against you if you don’t give it a means to outflow. Anger that is kept inside might cause depression or high blood pressure.
Unspoken anger may result in other problems. It can result in pathological rage outbursts, such as passive-aggressive behaviour (attacking others covertly without providing justification as opposed to directly), or a persistently angry and negative mindset.
Anger Management
The goal of anger management is to reduce both the physiological stimulation and emotional reactions that rage causes. You can learn to regulate your reactions, even while you can’t change, ignore, or get rid of the things or people who bother you. You can take psychological tests to find out your level of rage, how quickly you get agitated, and how well you control your rage. However, if you do have trouble managing your anger, chances are excellent that you already know it. You may need assistance learning more efficient coping mechanisms for this feeling if you notice that your reactions seem unsettling and out of control.
According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specialises in anger management, some people are truly more “hotheaded” than others; they lose their cool more rapidly and furiously than the average person. While some people display their unhappiness in blatantly spectacular ways, others are consistently furious and dissatisfied. Those who become angry easily don’t just scream and hurl things; they can also become depressed, lonely, or unwell.
Why are these people acting in this manner? a variety of things. Genetic or physiological factors could be the underlying cause: There is evidence that certain children are inherently irritable, touchy, and quick to anger, and that these characteristics manifest from an early age. Another set of elements is sociocultural ones. Anger is typically not expressed; instead, we are taught that other emotions, including anxiety and sorrow, can be expressed without restriction. We never learn how to manage it or effectively use it as a result.
Research has demonstrated a relationship between behaviour and family history. People who are quickly offended frequently come from chaotic, dysfunctional homes where emotional expression is difficult.
Strategies to keep anger at bay
Deep breathing and visualising tranquil scenes are two straightforward relaxation techniques that can be used to reduce anger. Through books and courses, you can learn relaxation techniques that you can apply in every situation, including Take deep breaths from your diaphragm rather than your chest to promote relaxation. Imagine that your “gut” is the place where your breath comes from. Use imagery to recreate a peaceful scene from memory, your imagination, or another source.
Simply defined, cognitive reorganisation involves changing the way you think. Swearing, using harsh words, or expressing their sentiments in other ways are common behaviours of those who are angry. Your thoughts could become overly dramatic and overblown when you’re furious. Try to swap out these ideas for more sane ones. Say to yourself, “It’s frustrating, and it’s understandable that I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end of the world, and getting angry isn’t going to fix it anyhow.” Act contrary to what you would often tell yourself, “Oh, it’s awful, it’s terrible, everything’s ruined.” Never or never characterise yourself or another using the words “always” or “never”. Comments like “this!&*%@ machine never works” and “you’re always forgetting things” are not only wrong, but they also give you the impression that your anger is well-founded and that there is no prospect of a resolution. Furthermore, they dehumanize and alienate those who might otherwise be eager to work with you to find a solution. Remind yourself that becoming angry won’t accomplish anything and won’t make you feel better; in fact, it can make you feel worse.
Better Communication — Sometimes the very real, unavoidable challenges in our life are the root of our rage and irritation. Anger is not always wrong, even though it frequently serves as a healthy, natural response to these issues. It is much more disappointing when we learn that this isn’t always the case because we have been raised to believe that every problem has a solution. The greatest frame of mind to adopt in this circumstance is to concentrate more on how you approach and handle the problem and less on finding a solution. Create a plan and monitor your advancement as you go. Make a commitment to yourself that you will do your best and refrain from berating yourself if you don’t hear back straight away. If you can approach the situation with your best intentions and efforts and truly try to confront it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and give into all-or-nothing thinking. even if the issue is not immediately fixed.
This was written and shared as part of my internship at the KRSH Welfare Foundation. @KRSH Welfare Foundation