Firdaus — part 3

Kashish Sodhi
Aug 28, 2017 · 4 min read

“I’ll be late.”

“From office, can we meet at the metro station itself?” (I texted her)

“Yeah! sure. On the Nehru Place metro station itself. I shall be there by 6:30.” (she texted back)

6:40pm

I got off the metro and ran towards Nehru Place Social. She was waiting outside. Formal talks and we were finally given a seat after 15 minutes of waiting.

“I have been worried since last night. I don’t know how to react upon it, totally dud on this.” “Anyways, you were saying something I remember. Can we continue?” (I said)

“Kashish! don’t be distressed because of anything I am telling you. I know out of nowhere I’ve become some important and disturbing element in your life from a week or so, but I request you not to be worried all the time. I came to you for help, only because I felt through your writings that you are a strong minded person and very balanced in order to give solutions or just show me some light.” (She said)

[after I smiled and nodded, she continued .. ]

“So, she was cooking and I was just talking shit to her (like all the unimportant stuff in life). She suddenly turned her face towards me and asked, “What is it Firdaus?” I remained quite for a while and then asked her to complete her cooking. “Sorry, please complete your cooking aunt, I want to talk to you regarding something. But I suppose we’ll do that after you complete your cooking”

[after she is done with her cooking I told her the whole incidence]

She was very patient while listening. But, as soon I finished, she held my hand tightly and dragged me to my room. She locked me inside and …

She screamed. and she said : “How dare you speak this non sense to me? Don’t you have any shame while speaking this to me. Talking dirty about your uncle who has taken your responsibility to educate you. He takes so much care of you and look at you. you have no shame! Dare you talk anything wrong about my husband ever again. You’ll stay inside unless you realize what have you done. Sitting alone all the time and thinking this kind of stuff for my husband. He is like your father. Making stories inside your head. I will teach you how to behave and respect the people who treat you as their own child and not a step child.”

[All of the courage I collected turned to zero. You cannot speak this stuff to someone elder in your house. I did and failed I suppose]

I kept on screaming that I am not at all at fault rather your husband is. I am not making any stories but she didn’t listen. I was inside my room for 2 days and didn’t eat a thing. My sister was also barred to speak to me for these 2 days. Finally, my door was opened and my Uncle was looking at me in anger. He couldn’t say anything to me because of Fiza(my cousin) and Aunt.

The same night, Fiza came to me and she also sounded like my Aunt. She made me realize how filthy I was to raise such assault case on her father. I felt so lonely that night. No one was there to listen to me.

From the next day, the school also became a horror show for me. Fiza had asked her friends (friends of friends too), not to talk to me. I don’t know what she said to them but I assumed this was the case. Things were changed 180 degrees for me. My life was a nightmare in just 3 days (72 hours). I became a lonely person at home and at school. No one to interact. You know sometimes I was the essence in a joke or at times I was humiliated in front of a bunch of people. My academics went low. Poor. Everything was dark for me. I turned into some horrible personality who had lost all her hope and was just living her life as I had accepted that this was my fate. Home to school and school to home. Only my pillow was a friend to me back then, who used to listen but respond to nothing.

3 years went by and I was the same girl who was assaulted on a regular basis but I couldn’t resist to it. The same girl who had no one besides her. The same girl who was living with a family who had a blind faith on their Family MAN.

Then came a turning point for me. [I thought at that time it was, but it wasn’t]

A new guy took admission in our school. 9th Grade. How do I know that? [laughed] It’s just because after 3 years, he was the only one who had spoken to me (and I had never seen him in school earlier). We had a talk. He introduced himself but I didn’t. He asked me about being so quite. I remained quite again. He tried to talk to me on a daily basis but I was numb [no reaction at all]. I was so much into myself that I completely forgot that life can be lived with a friend [or with some person]. And even I forgot that someone could ever help me. But trust me Kashish! he made me strong.”

My eyebrows raised in excitement. I was a bit out of relief that finally someone to help her or maybe understand but …

“Don’t judge so early. People make several people strong in many ways. His was quite different. And he sure as hell made me strong. I repeat — ‘He did’.” — she said.

)

Kashish Sodhi

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