The most fair way to deal with criticism at work
“Few people have the wisdom to prefer the criticism that would do them good, to the praise that deceives them.” — François de La Rochefoucauld
The word criticism is a highly misunderstood term. People often take criticism as something negative. But, it is not so. Criticism, if given and taken in the right manner, can be of great help in building a person.
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The problem with criticism is that most people think of it as unfair. With just the mention of this word, I’ve seen people getting nervous. They get anxious and have a raised heart beat. As a result of this, they tend to react in an uncalled for. The reaction of anger, frustration and defensiveness prevails.
You end up looking like a fool, and not to forget with lots of spoiled relationships at work.
I am sure every person reading this article would have faced criticism in their career. And, they can relate to what I’m trying to say here.
But, the question for which everyone is looking an answer now is — how to tackle criticism at work? I’d like to share some of the tricks I use and inspire my team to use when dealing with such situations -
Respond, and not just react
A wise man has rightly said — it’s not the situation, but your reaction to the situation. Criticism might evoke some emotional and reflex reactions, but to become better at handling it you need to become a good listener.
Most of the times we react abruptly to a situation. Why? Because our mind is already set to answer the criticism with a preconceived notion that we have on the topic. That way you are not responding, you are just reacting. You need to inculcate the habit of active listening to understand the situation better. Who knows the other person might be saying something, which you never even thought off? And, is actually good for the project you are working on.
Stay poised and positive about it
Keeping yourself calm in such a situation can be the toughest job. But, that’s the most ideal way to handle criticism. When you are calm, emotions don’t take over. This means that you are in control of the response you will give for the comments or criticism you are facing.
This also means that you are better equipped in mind to listen about what others have to say. The negative emotions that would have made you lose control, you can turn them into positive. And, thus avoid the situation from going out of control.
Turn it into a discussion, not an argument
Our reaction to a situation has the power to control the situation. If you want to get into an argument, no one can stop you. But, where will it end up? More often than not it ends up with two people sitting at opposite end of the topic, with grudges in their heart. That’s not ideal, both for the organization as well as the members involved in the argument.
So, how can you turn an argument into discussion? It’s quite simple — listen to what the other person has to say. And, then take time to understand his/her point of view. If you fail to understand the point of view, ask the person to repeat it or elaborate it a bit more.
This will not only affirm that you are not here to win a battle. But at the same time let the other person know that you respect their point of view. And, this in the longer run can help a lot in effective team building!
Think over it
Take time to think over the criticism you’ve received once you are out of the discussion room. Give yourself some time to reflect over what happened in the discussion. This is is important as it allows you to imbibe all the points discussed in the meeting. It gives you a reflection of where you can improve. Or, how you can make other people better understand your point of view.
And, at the same time how can you start to accept feedback in a positive way. Because, that’s the only way you are going to improve. That’s the best way you will get to know whether you are doing right or wrong. Like Norman Vincent Peale once said,” the trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”
On an ending note, I’d like to say that criticism can be both good and bad. It depends upon how you take it. If you keep a positive attitude towards other people’s views you will always improve. At the same time if you start taking things in a negative way you will get burdened under the pile of expectations. And, work will become more of labour than something you enjoy doing.
And, I am sure you would not want that to happen. Would you?
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Vartika Kashyap is a seasoned marketing professional who is an expert in digital marketing and entrepreneurship. She’s been featured among LinkedIn’s Top Voices for the year 2016. She currently runs the marketing team at ProofHub — a project management software for teams of all sizes. Connect with Vartika on LinkedIn, Medium and Twitter.
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Originally published at LinkedIn.com
